How to Talk So people Listen.pdf

SONYA HAMLIN

HOW TO TALK

SO PEOPLE LISTEN

the real key to job success

1817

HARPER & ROW, PUBLISHERS New York

Cambridge, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Washington,

London, Mexico City, Sao Paulo, Singapore, Sydney

reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or

reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of

brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address

Harper & Row, Publishers, 10 East 53rd Street, New York, N.Y. 10022. Published

simultaneously in Canada by Fitzhenry & Whiteside Limited, Toronto.

FIRST EDITION

Designer: Ruth Bornschlegel

Copy editor: Ann Adelrnan

Indexer: Maro Riofrancos

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Hamlin, Sonya.

How to talk so people listen.

Includes index.

1. Business communication. 2. Oral communication. 3. Persuasion (Psychology)

I. Title.

HF5718.H284 1988

658.4'52 87-15624

ISBN 0-06-015669-4

88 89 90 91 92 RRD 10 987654321

For information about our audio products, write us at:

Newbridge Book Clubs, 3000 Cinde! Drive, Deiran, NJ 08370

To my friends:

T.A.W.;C.H.;A.P.;J.N.;N.L.G.; M.D.A.;

E.A.C.: K.V.: I.M.; N.N.; H.S.

The ones who, unlike your family, don't have to

let you in when you knock, but by voluntarily reaching

for your hand tell you that you are indeed loved and

supported.

Contents

1 • WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? Why We Don't Communicate Well

in the Workplace 1

WHAT THIS BOOK IS ABOUT 2

How Do I Know? 3

WHY WE HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME

COMMUNICATING 4

Where It Begins 5

How It Develops 6

What We Want 7

WHAT MOTIVATES WORK 8

Status 8

Usefulness 9

Affection/Acceptance 9

Money/Security 10

OUR PUBLIC IMAGE 12

What Works, What Doesn't and Why 12

What We Already Know 13

BASIC WORK PERSONALITIES 13

Achievers 14

Affiliators 15

Influencers 16

Using the Work Types 18

A Predominance of Achievers 19

THE BASICS OF COMMUNICATING: Why and How People

Listen 21

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