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WET AND WILDE

An Ellora’s Cave Publication, March 2004

Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.

PO Box 787

Hudson, OH 44236-0787

ISBN MS Reader (LIT) ISBN # 1-84360-844-8

Other available formats (no ISBNs are assigned):

Adobe (PDF), Rocketbook (RB), Mobipocket (PRC) & HTML

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales

is purely coincidental. They are productions of the authors’ imagination and used fictitiously.

Edited by Martha Punches .

Cover art by Syneca .

WET AND WILDE

Tawny Taylor

Chapter 1

Another girl’s night—in hell.

If there was one thing Jane Wilde knew it was that she’d trade her left boob to avoid

another pathetic Saturday night at Diana’s, swapping complaints about the slim

pickin’s in the man department. In fact, she’d give up both boobs. Her stiff neck and

shoulder muscles would thank her.

She sure didn’t want to be reminded of how pitiful her love life was at the moment.

Bucket of popcorn the size of a small bathtub in one hand, a glass of diet cola, since

she was on a diet, in the other, she took her prescribed seat on the couch. “Please tell me

we aren’t watching another vampire flick. I’m vamped out. And if I didn’t know

better,” she paused to stab at her best friend and confidante, Diana, with a finger, “I’d

swear your teeth have grown at least a quarter inch.”

“Nope. No vamps today.” Diana gave Jane a toothy grin and scooped up a handful

of popcorn, leaving half of it trailing over Jane’s lap. “It’s mermaids! Splash .”

“Oh God, spare me.” Jane slid deeper into the super-plush cushions of Diana’s

sky-blue couch.

“It has Cher in it. How could it be that bad?” Carmen, Jane’s other best friend,

asked as she rounded the corner from the kitchen, her expression chock-full of

wide-eyed hope. “Have you seen it?”

“It’s not that movie.” Jane fought back the urge to roll her eyes skyward. “Although

I wouldn’t want to see that one, either. This is the movie with that blonde—what’s her

name?—walking naked around New York. It’s older than I am, and even lamer. The

only good thing about it is Tom Hanks. Couldn’t you find something better?” She

dumped half her cola down her throat, about ready to hit the harder stuff. If this night

was going to be salvaged, she’d need something with a lot more kick, like tequila. “Why

can’t we watch a movie that has nothing to do with mythological creatures, whether

they live in dungeons or the sea?”

“Because those creatures are mysterious—sexy!” Diana waggled her eyebrows, her

eyes the size of silver dollars, and punched her. “Have you ever considered the

possibilities?”

“Possibilities?” Jane shook her head, ignoring Diana’s jab to her shoulder. “Not

since I quit believing in the Easter Bunny.”

Diana gave her another nudge. “Scoot over and quit being such a grouch.”

Jane shot Diana an intentionally exaggerated look of admonishment and complied,

giving her just enough room for her skinny ass to fit between the couch arm and Jane’s

admittedly wider one. “Next week, I choose.”

Diana clucked her tongue and shook her head. “You know the rules, the hostess

picks the movie. And next week it’s Carmen’s turn.”

Carmen nodded her head.

This time Jane didn’t bother stopping her eyes from rolling. “And Carmen calls you

from the video store every time.”

“Well, if you answered your phone occasionally,” Carmen piped in, sounding a

touch defensive, “I’d call you, too.”

“You both know why I don’t. That man won’t stop calling me, divorce or not. He’s

such a control freak.”

“Maybe it’s time to change your number,” Diana offered.

Jane shot up from the couch. Yep, it was definitely time for that drink. She drained

her glass on her way to the kitchen, leaving the other two women to their discussion

about next week’s torture. No doubt it would be some sort of

monster-mermaid-superman flick. If only she had something better to do!

She stooped down, rummaging through Diana’s eternally well-stocked refrigerator.

The woman kept enough food in there for an army, and ate a truckload at every meal.

Jane hated her…kinda.

“Where’re the wine coolers?” she shouted.

“Carmen’s polishing off the last one,” Diana answered. “You want me to go to the

store for more?”

Drag! No alcohol? A movie released before she had filled out her first bra, and

nothing to sweeten the deal. Could this night be any worse? “No, that’s okay.” She

refilled her glass with diet cola and headed back to the living room.

Both ladies smiled at her. Smiled like they’d just signed a pact with the devil. Like

they’d just enlisted her in the army. Like they’d just promised her life in return

for…something.

Uh oh. “What?”

“We have an idea,” Diana stood and reached for Jane’s arm.

“Yeah, a really great idea.” Carmen reached for the other arm.

Sandwiched between two conniving women? That was one place she didn’t want to

be. She tugged but quickly realized they weren’t going to let her go. “What kind of

idea?” She really didn’t want to know.

Carmen giggled. “Since your birthday’s coming up—”

“It was last month,” Jane interrupted.

“Even better!” Diana released her arm and gave her shoulders a sound shove,

knocking her backward onto the couch. “Sit. Shut up. And listen. This is for your own

good.”

Diana could sure be one bossy bitch! It almost pissed Jane off the way Diana was

literally pushing her around. She prepared to deliver a choice word or two, but

reminded herself of the past six months.

Yep, after holding Jane up for six months, the least her well-meaning friend had

earned was a license to shove.

Jane glanced at Carmen, and Carmen gave her a reassuring smile.

“Okay,” she said on a sigh. “What’s this great idea?”

“For your birthday, we’d like to give you a wish. A makeover. New clothes, new

attitude on life. What do you say?”

“New attitude? What’s wrong with the one I have?” She wasn’t sure she liked what

their grand scheme implied. Was she that pitiable? Were her clothes that outdated?

“Nothing, really.” Carmen sat on the coffee table. “But we just thought you could

use—” She shrugged. “Something to make you feel better, now that— Well, you know.”

Did they have to keep mentioning that? “I’m fine—outside of my phone ringing off

the damn hook, and the two people I call my best friends bull-dogging me into

something I don’t want to do.”

Diana sat on the table and shoved Carmen aside. “You’re making her feel worse.

Let me try.” Diana sighed. “Listen, sweetie. Everyone who goes through a change in

life—good or bad—has to adjust. That goes for you, too. And to ease that adjustment,

it’s good to do something positive, for yourself.”

“Like get surgery to make myself look like Pamela Anderson?” Jane asked, fighting

a smile.

“Sure!” Carmen nodded her head.

“Seriously.” Diana gave Jane a swift smack on the thigh— ouch ! “Get with the

program here. Isn’t there anything you have wanted to do for yourself? Something

that’s been nagging at you for a long, long time?”

“I’ve wanted to get plastic surgery,” Carmen interjected. “I’d love to look like

Pamela—at least from the neck to about here.” She motioned just below her very flat

boobs.

Diana smiled. “Okay, sweetie.” She gave Carmen’s shoulder a squeeze. “We’ll get

you that surgery when your birthday comes.”

Carmen grinned, her pink-tinged face getting even redder, clashing with her

carrot-hued hair. “You will! Gosh, that’s mighty nice of you!”

Jane watched Carmen, all aglow, and thought about the possibilities. Okay, the idea

of having a wish was kind of cool. Something for herself? Something that would make

her feel better? Then, the idea struck her. “I’ve always wanted to learn how to swim.”

In an instant, memories of sultry days on the beach with her brothers and sisters

came to mind. Days when they enjoyed the fresh coolness of the sea while she sat

frozen by fear at the shore, willing herself to take a leap into that terrifying, roiling

mass. She couldn’t remember exactly when that fear had surfaced, vaguely recalled

nearly drowning as a young child. But she sure would like to shake it now.

Diana’s smile couldn’t get any bigger than it was, and dread slipped down Jane’s

Tawny Taylor - Wet And Wilde(1).pdf

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