A - Z of Practical NLP: A for Anchoring
Have you ever felt 100% on top of things, nothing could beat you, everything went right, you could move a mountain and still have enough energy left over to swim an ocean? What would it be like if you could feel that way during your next sales presentation or interview?
Be at your best when you need it most
To anchor you best
1. Make sure that you won't be disturbed for the next 15 to 20 minutes.
2. Pick a time when you want to be at your best, maybe an interview or speech.
3. How would you like to feel in that situation? Find a time in your past when you felt most like that.
4. Pick a word, a gesture and an image that you will be using as triggers to bring back the feeling. The gesture must be subtle, so you can use it in public. Make it something which you don't normally do. Choose the word and image to be related to the feeling.
5. Stand upright. Imagine yourself back in the situation when you felt this feeling. Re-experience the situation. Remember what you saw, heard, felt and thought in that situation, in great detail. Give yourself plenty of time to do this.
6. Notice the feeling getting stronger and stronger. When it is nearly as strong as it will get, do a step forward, as if you are stepping into the situation. At the same time make your gesture, say your word (silently) and see your image.
7. Take a few seconds to let this sink in. Step back and shake off the feeling.
8. Repeat this 3 or 4 times. It will get easier and the feeling will get stronger.
9. Test the anchor. Shake off the feeling. Make your gesture, say your word and see your image. Notice how your feeling comes back to you.
To "fire" your anchor and be at your best
Make your gesture, say your word and see your image. This will bring back the feeling which you 'anchored'. Try using only your gesture, only your word or only your image. This may work as well.
Warning Anchors are effective, use them wisely. Do not use them to override or suppress feelings or other signals from your body, such as fear or fatigue.
There is a story of a wise man sitting by the side of a road between two villages. From the eastern village a young man approaches. He asks the wise man what the people in the western village are like. "Before I answer you, tell me what the people were like in the eastern village". "I found them very hospitable, friendly and open". "You will find the people in the western village to be the same" replied the old man. A little later another young man approaches from the village in the west. "What are the people in the next village?". Again the wise man asked him to describe the people in the village the young man just came from. "They were horrible, extremely unfriendly and rude". "You will find the people in the eastern village to be the same".
Many of your experiences in life will depend on what you expect. What you expect depends on what you believe. If you believe people to be friendly then you will encounter many friendly people. If you believe that you are a wealthy person, then you will find yourself engaging in lots of behavior that will add up to you being a wealthy person.
Affirmations are a common way for people to change a belief. By continuously repeating a phrase (affirmation) that phrase might become a belief.
Maybe you have tried to do something and you find yourself failing consistently. In that case you may be doing something that goes against one of your beliefs. For instance, if you have a belief that you deserve to earn no more than £10,000, then all your attempts to get a promotion or a raise will probably fail.
Please note that we are not always conscious of our beliefs (that would be too easy J).
NLP calls this a 'limiting' belief - a belief that holds you back, usually because you have outgrown it. A belief that no longer serves you.
To overcome a limiting belief
The first step is to figure out what belief might be holding you back. Go back to your past and think of all the trite sayings you heard around the subject. For instance, if it is money related, you may remember "It doesn't grow on trees", "Filthy rich", "Watch the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves"
Once you have identified a limiting belief, use any of the following ideas:
1. Find a way to turn the belief around. Instead of saying "I don't have any experience" make it "I bring a new perspective". Be creative and have fun with this one.
2. Use effective affirmations.
3. Determine when you first adopted this belief and why you adopted it. It may be based on a single event in your life. Maybe a teacher told you once that you are a poor painter. You believed him or her and ended up with a belief "I cannot paint". This then stopped you from even trying to paint or learning to paint. Just because your teacher didn't know how to appreciate your style of painting, doesn't mean that you can't paint. Rerun the scene, in your mind's eye, the way you want it to have run. Would you respond differently? Maybe you would realiz that this was simply the opinion of a single person, and not a good one at that.
You are a guided missile. Your beliefs identify your target. If you stray too far from your beliefs then your automatic tracking system will pull you back and put you back on course. Trying to achieve a goal which does not fit in with your beliefs is like trying to push a guided missile off course. You might be able to do it, but it is incredibly hard work.
Instead, change your beliefs and your 'missile' will change course, too.
Aim your automatic guidance system at your goals and nothing will be able to stop you.
Anything you can conceive ..
The first step in achieving your goal is to clearly state what you want. Put it in the present and make it positive.
1. Start with your current, limiting belief. Or your description of the situation.
2. Turn it around. What do you want instead?
3. Make it completely positive, no negative words allowed at all. If you can't think of how to do this, ask yourself what you will have once you have achieved your goal.
4. Turn it into the present tense, as if it is already true.
"I am at my ideal weight"
.. and can believe ..
Turn your affirmation into something that is absolutely true for you. Do one or more of the following:
· Write it down regularly, maybe 15 times in 1 session, or 2 sessions of 10 'copies'. Repeat this daily for 4 weeks.
· Write down your affirmation, see what objection your mind throws up (e.g. "but I am not", "so the scales are lying") and write down the objection. This shows your mind that you have heard the objection and allows it to move on. Continue this for 10 or 15 repeats. Repeat this daily for 4 weeks.
· Say your affirmation out loud a number of times. Some people even do this whilst looking at themselves in a mirror. As you say your affirmations, use a powerful, confident voice. Sound as if you mean it.
· Write down what would be true for you if your new belief was fully part of you.
· "I am naturally attracted to healthy foods. My wardrobe is full of well-fitting clothes that make me look and feel good. I am well informed about what my body needs.", etc. Make it between two paragraphs and one side of A4 long.
· List 5 to 10 small things you can do to show that this is already true for you. Pick one of them and do it. This will show your mind that you are already living your new belief.
.. you can achieve
Go out and play. You have nothing to lose, this is painless. And you may find yourself effortlessly achieving something you have dreamt of for ages.
Remember, reading and understanding an idea is the booby price. The real winners are those who take action and use the idea.
The Power Of Complete Alignment
Your mind, and therefore your life, is run by committee. Each committee member has a different purpose, such as keeping you safe, getting you love or keeping you fed. All purposes are in your best interest.
Each committee member has a limited number of ways in which it can do its job. Each person has a different set of committee members. Even if two people have members with the same purpose, they may still have different ways of achieving this. Many people have a committee member in charge of having fun. But the means of having fun can be totally different for different people.
Every time a decision needs to be made all committee members get together and discuss what to do. Maybe you are thinking about buying a new coat. The committee member who wants you to be loved thinks that a new coat makes you more attractive, so it is in favor. The member who wants you to be safe thinks that it will keep you warm and protect your body, it is in favor. The member who wants to keep you fed thinks that this will give you less money to buy food, so it is against the idea.
In this case, 2 members are in favor and 1 is against. So you half-heartedly buy the coat.
Or you may find that you go out to buy a new coat but that you never quite succeed. Maybe you cannot find one that you like or maybe you leave your wallet at home. The committee member who was against the idea has managed to sabotage your plan to buy the coat.
If you get all members in favor then you will feel completely behind a decision and will be very quick and effective in implementing your decision, in reaching your goal.
So, as shown in the picture below, if all your parts are moving in the same direction, you will achieve your goal much quicker and much easier.
Be totally committed to your goal
These committee members are not quite as rigid as it sounds. Sometimes they can find other ways to satisfy their purpose, in a way that fits in with your goal. Or their concerns can be laid to rest after careful consideration.
3 steps to becoming fully aligned and achieving your goal quickly and easily
1. Write down
· What you want. Put this in the positive.
· Everything you will gain by achieving your goal. Make it as descriptive and colorful as possible.
· What you will lose by achieving your goal. Take plenty of time on this list. Feel free to write down silly things, since no one else will be reading this. Imagine yourself having your goal, going through your normal routine, what comes up, is it all positive or are there any doubts.
· What you lose by not achieving your goal. A lot of this may be the same as above but you may come up with some other things as well.
· What you will gain by not achieving your goal. Again, you may already have written some of these down. See what else comes up.
2. Look at what you have written, and decide whether your goal is truly worth it. Either decide to go ahead with achieving your goal. Or decide to drop your goal.
3. Relax, let go. You are now totally committed (if you decided to keep your goal) to achieving your goal and will probably find yourself effortlessly and naturally achieving your goal
margotbao