Ann Somerville - Lindira.pdf - Ann Somerville - SilverWitch

Lindira

Ann Somerville

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Published by Ann Somerville

Lindira

The men who killed Lindira’s lover, made sure she saw it happen.

Then the men who killed Lindira’s lover, made sure it was the last thing she would ever see.

As she was thrown into the sea, she had but one plea to make. Mother Tenir, grant me death.

~~~~~

For a few moments, she couldn’t remember why she couldn’t open her eyes. But then she did, so

she stopped trying, and instead moved her hand to shade her sightless face from the heat pounding

down on her.

“You’re awake.”

A deep male voice, to her left. “Where am I?” Her voice sounded old, dusty. Her throat wasn’t

sore, as such, but she’d probably broken something with her screaming, she thought.

“Safe. I’ve healed your injuries.” Her hand went instinctively to her breast, but found only smooth

scar tissue. “I’m sorry—I can heal, but I can’t replace what’s gone. Do you want to sit up?”

There was only one thing she wanted, but she allowed the man to help her up into a sitting

position. Rustling sounds and a sudden relief from the heat must have meant he’d placed something to

shade her. “Where am I?”

“Our island. I found you on the shore...who did this to you?”

She ignored the question. “Who are you?”

“I am Jese.”

“‘Our’?”

“My...my lover is here too. Do you have a name?”

Names had power to a Teniri. She gave her use-name instead. “Lin.”

“So how are you feeling, Lin?”

“Do you have a knife?”

She sensed his surprise at her change of subject. “Yes, but why...?”

“Give it to me.”

“But you can’t see....”

“The knife.” She was beyond caring about being rude. Beyond caring about anything at all.

She felt the wooden handle of what seemed quite a large knife placed in her left hand. She tested

the blade with her thumb—sharp. Good. She raised it, then plunged it towards what was left of her

heart, praying her aim was true.

“Lin, no!”

He was too fast, and struggle as she might against his powerful grip, she could not force the knife

closer to her barren chest. She sobbed as he wrenched the blade from her hand, and heard it being

thrown down some distance away. “Let me go! I need to....”

“Kill yourself? In Molti’s name, why?”

She turned her sightless eyes towards Jese’s voice. “Because I’m already dead. I’m just finishing

things off.”

“You’re not dead and I can’t let you hurt yourself. Lin, who did this to you?”

She struggled to her feet—Jese didn’t help—and took a few steps. She felt light-headed, empty.

Powerful healing magic had been used on her. Ironic that the stone in her heart would let that happen,

when it had been the reason she had been torn apart in the first place. She was on fine sand, and if she

stood still, she could hear the swoosh and hiss of small waves on the shoreline. She stumbled towards

the sound of the ocean, though she couldn’t hear her sisters’ voices in the foam because of the accursed

stone. She sat down in the shallow, warm water, wishing she could drown and be taken home to her

mother. But Teniri could not drown. Not even blind, maimed and magicless ones, it seemed. She would

have wept, except a woman with no eyes cannot weep. Instead, she could only sit in the warm,

welcoming ocean, and pray for an end to her agony.

She heard the scuff of footsteps on the sand, then the ripples of the water as he sat down beside

her. “Please...tell me what happened. I mean you no harm, I swear.”

She almost laughed—it was the fact he didn’t mean her harm that offended her. “I am Teniri.”

“Is that why your skin’s blue?”

“My skin is blue because it pleased my beloved mother to make it thus. Some of us are green,

others brown as dirt.”

“I understand. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Then why did you, selfish man? “My other form is that of a dolphin. I belong....” Her breath

caught. “I belong here ,” she said angrily, sweeping the water away from her with her hand. “But I can’t

change.”

She found her hand caught in another’s and realized in shock, that the arm it belonged to was

covered in fur. “You’re not a human either.”

“I am. But I am cursed. Tell me your story first, Lin.”

The patient sorrow in his voice humbled her a little, and made her rein in her anger. “Men came—

found me with my human lover and said we were evil, damned. They cut off his genitals, then staked

him out for the wolves to rend to pieces. They made me watch.” She pushed her wrist into her mouth to

stifle the sob.

“I’m sorry, Lin.” He stroked her arm. “And then...?”

“And then they put out my eyes, cut off my breasts and threw me into the ocean to mock my

mother,” she said in a harsh voice. “But they forgot that Teniri cannot die that way. Or perhaps they

didn’t care.”

“And you’re still alive,” he said quietly.

“But I want to be dead ! I don’t want to live without Nivu, or with this stone....” Her hand went to

the place over her heart—where the evil shard had pierced it. “I have no magic any more,” she

whispered.

Gentle hands were placed on her shoulders in comfort. “I don’t understand—what stone?”

“The land of the humans is ruled by the wizard, Hunet, and his cursed god lover. Hunet is jealous

of all magic but his own, and will kill or seal it up when he finds it. He told them that all Teniri hated

them, that the non-human races wanted to destroy them, and told them how to control our magics. They

shot me with an arrow tipped with eonin—and with it inside me, I cannot change form, or use my

powers. Please, Jese—you must let me die. I can’t live like this, crippled and useless, and without

Nivu....” She twisted to stare at him, though she could not see him. “Please...help me.”

“I cannot. Lin, I cannot kill. I heal. I don’t take life.”

“Then let me take my own! Just give me back the knife.”

“I can’t do that either, Lin. I’m sorry.”

“Will your lover kill me? Shall I ask her?”

There was a long, long silence, the only sounds the lapping of the water on the sand, and the cries

of the seabirds. Then Jese spoke, his voice soft and bitter. “ He might grant you this wish. But he’s not

here.”

“Then I’ll wait here until he returns, and then he can kill me.”

There was a deep, painful sigh. “You don’t care if you hurt him, or me.”

“You’re human. I care nothing for you.”

“He’s not human.”

“Is he cursed too?”

“Yes.”

There was the sound of splashing as if Jese stood, and then Lindira heard his steps through the

water and onto the sand. She tried to ignore his leaving, determined to wait for his lover to come back

so he could end this cruelty. But it was too quiet, too lonely on her own, and she wasn’t yet dead.... She

walked out of the sea and stood on the sand. “Jese? I don’t know where you are.”

For a few moments she thought he’d abandoned her, and though her only wish was to die, it

frightened her a little. But then she heard his footsteps, and his hand was on her arm, carefully guiding

her back up the shore, and to some shelter where the sun did not burn so hot. She let him offer her

water, though she refused to eat—what need had she of food if she was to die soon?

“Tell me of your curse.”

“What do you care? I’m only a human.”

“Your lover is not. What race is he?”

“He has no race, and he is every race. It’s not important to me. I don’t look at people and say, that

one is human, this one is Teniri, or he is Magdin.”

“You have that luxury, human. You are much more numerous than we are.”

“Not on this island, Lin. Here there are only the damned.”

She sipped her water, and waited. She could be patient. She didn’t care if he told her or not.

She heard him moving around, and it irritated her that he didn’t tell her what he was doing. “Either

sit and talk, or give me the knife. I’m not a pet.”

“My apologies, Lin. I...fidget when I’m uncomfortable.”

She nearly snapped at him that some people were just a bit more than uncomfortable, then realised

she was being vile for no reason to someone who’d been nothing but kind to her, even if he was a

human. “Just come and sit and tell me why you are here and who cursed you. I’ve had a difficult day,

Jese. My patience is running dry.”

“Yes, I’m sorry.” The sand crunched near her, and then he took her hand. “Do you mind?”

She should—but she didn’t. “If it makes you more comfortable, no, I don’t. What is your lover

called?”

“Von.”

Sounded like another use-name, but she didn’t mind. “And when will he come back?”

“A few days. Maybe a week. He’s hunting, and I’m never sure how long he’ll be away, though it’s

never too long. Will you promise not to try to harm yourself until he returns?”

“If you don’t annoy me.”

“Ah, then I shall have to be much more polite than normal.”

It startled her to hear a smile in his voice, because it had been so sad until now. It startled her more

to feel her own face creasing a little in a smile in return. “What I said about patience running dry?

Consider that ‘ran dry’.”

“I’m sorry, Lin. I was just trying to...make you feel better. That’s so stupid of me. I’ll stop.”

He sounded young and sweet, and though Nivu had been neither particularly young nor sweet, her

aching heart stuttered with grief. “Just tell me. For the love of Lady Tenir, just...get on with it.”

He took a deep breath, and the grip on her hand tightened just a little. “Von is magical too. We are

cursed by Hunet. He stole Von’s magics, transformed us and entrapped us on this island.”

She frowned in his direction. “But you have magics....”

“Hunet didn’t realise—they’re useless anyway. Except today, and it seems I did you no favour. My

apology, Lin. Your tale is much worse than ours. At least we’re still alive.”

“Yes. Doesn’t seem much of a curse, not for Hunet...wait.” She lifted her hand and reached for

him. Realising her intent, he moved closer and let her feel his face. Feeling a long snout and a damp

nose, she gasped a little in shock, and he flinched. “What...?”

“An ape. I have an ape’s head and fur. I’m repulsive.”

“No more than a mutilated Teniri. Von?”

“A dog’s head. But...Hunet also trapped him partly in his true form, so he is now more than twice

my size. He cannot fit into the hut so he sleeps outside and we...can’t make love as we used to. Or at

all, really.” Her hand was resting on his furry cheek, and so she felt the single tear wet her hand. “It

sent Von a little mad, to be truthful. He finds this much harder to bear even than I do. So, don’t hate

humankind, Lin. Hate the man who twists and frightens them into their behaviour.”

“And his lover for he gives him the power.”

“Or so we’re told. You know, you could stay here with me, with us. Would your pain not ease in

time?”

“No,” she snapped, pulling her hand away from his face. “Do not insult Nivu’s memory thus.”

“I meant no insult, Lin. I’ve been too long from the company of others, I think,” he said with a

sigh. “I only wish there was something I could do.”

“You could kill me.”

“ Besides that,” he said wryly. “Are you in pain? Does the eonin hurt?”

“Yes, but you can’t do anything about that without cutting it out, and that would kill me, which

you refuse to do.”

“True. I’m sorry—”

“Oh, stop apologising, little human! You didn’t do this to me!”

Another long silence. She had not been this bad-tempered before. But then she had never been

blinded and murdered before, or had her lover killed. That wasn’t Jese’s fault, though.

He was moving around again, but she bit back her annoyance. He had his own sorrows. She

wondered what race Von was, and why Jese wasn’t telling her. But then it didn’t matter. All that

mattered was that Von could kill, and Jese could not.

He came back, and she felt something soft drape over her shoulders. “What’s this?”

“An old shirt. I thought it would bother you to be naked before me.”

She shrugged it off, folded it as best she could without being able to see, and handed it back. “I’m

not ashamed of my form. If it offends you, you have a solution.”

“It doesn’t offend me. Your scars just make me sad for what you’ve suffered.”

She snarled silently at him, but he ignored her anger, sitting quietly and presumably just looking at

her. Oh, she hated not being able to see! “I want to be alone now,” she said abruptly. She had too much

of her own pain to bear another’s for very long.

He showed no annoyance in his tone. “Then I’ll leave you until you call. I’ll hear you wherever

you are.”

She realised what had been bothering her. He had an ape’s head but his voice wasn’t altered in the

least. “Are you using mind-speech?”

“Yes. If I use my mouth, I sound like an animal.”

“You’re no ordinary human, Jese.”

“I’m quite ordinary,” he said quietly. “I’ve just been blessed by my god, that’s all. But now you

know how I can hear you. Remember your promise.”

She heard him walk away. Why did it matter when she died, to him? A Teniri woman would make

no difference to his situation. She wasn’t prepared to stay here, useless and helpless, to amuse a lonely

victim of Hunet’s sick games. Let his lover ease his pain. Lindira had made the mistake of helping a

human before and paid for it. She would not do that again.

She drew her knees up to her chin, and squeezed her eyelids tight over empty sockets, feeling the

need to cry, but having no means of doing so. She found it strange that her own injuries bothered her so

little, but the only thing that mattered was Nivu, being dead, being....

And he had known she’d been watching. That was almost the worst thing. How he had begged her

to close her eyes, as if she wouldn’t hurt if she hadn’t seen....

Ann Somerville - Lindira.pdf

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