Carrie Alexander - In Too Deep.pdf

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ToriCarrington
In Too Deep
It's springtime again, andAlannah White has returned to Ben Edwards's bed in her own
unique fashion. Ben is tired ofAlannah breezing in and out of his life for a few weeks of
the year, and this time he plans to tell her so. But when he feels her familiar warmth
against his body, he knows that he'll gladly play the lustful fool this one, last time. He
just wishes she would talk to him about the secret from her past that haunts her, and the
scars that mark her body.
Alannahknows her mysteriousbehavior is hurting Ben, but she can't seem to stop herself,
and she can't seem to stay put. Ben's the only man who has ever made her wonder what
life might be like if she stopped running from her traumatic past and finally planted her
own roots. But she can't help thinking Ben deserves a woman who can give him the home
and family he's always craved.
She was back.Hot, fleecy-soft, and magnificently naked in his bed.
Ben Edwards knew instantly that the figure stretched out beside him wasn't his pet
potbellied pig, Elvis, or, worse, hislongtime butler,Newerth . Nor was the woman a
figment of his imagination, a ghostly image from the past, or a manifestation of his
dreams. No. It was spring, and beautiful, free-spiritedAlannah White had returned in her
unique way by slipping into his bed while he slept. If he had any doubt it was her, he had
but to look at the single Aspidistraelatior in the clay pot sitting on the ledge ofthe multi-
paned bedroom window, backlit by the coming dawn. Over the past four years the plant
had grown taller, the pot it was in bigger. And every yearAlannah took the plant — called
the cast-iron plant — with her when she left, along with a huge chunk of Ben's heart.
Ben drew in a deep breath, filling his nose with the sweet scent ofAlannah's skin. He
barely dared to budge the hand that lay against her curvy hip for fear that he'd wake
her.Afraid that the move would force him to face his own demons. Right then, he merely
wanted to relish her gypsy spirit, touch her warm skin and forget that he'd determined to
refuse her; told himself that this time he'd be strong enough to turn her away.
Only he hadn't planned to wake up with her already in his bed.
Giving himself over to his baser instincts, he melded his fingers to her supple flesh, oh
so gently pressing her more tightly against his aroused body. He closed his eyes and
groaned softly. Every year he told himself this was it, this was the time he was going to
giveAlannah an ultimatum: Stay forever, or don't come back. If he didn't pull away now,
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he knew that strength would surrender to his fundamental need of her in his life, even if
only for a few hours, days, or weeks.
Alannahshifted in her sleep, wriggling her bottom tantalizingly against him.
Sweet mercy.
Four years had passed since she'd swept into his life. He'd hired her to transform the
plain, grass-covered lawn of his vast estate outsideProvidence,Rhode Island, into an
English garden reminiscent of the home he had just transferred from to expand his
financial consulting business across the pond.Four years since he'd first laid eyes on her,
transplanting a buddleia that had been placed in the shade to a spot with full sunlight in
front of his house. Herspiraling black hair had shone blue in the warm light, her long
tanned legs bent under her while her breasts pressed invitingly against the soft white
material of her T-shirt. Then she had turned her electric-blue eyes on him. Ben had felt as
though she had somehow managed to turn the sun so it shone solely on him, setting him
on fire and making England seem very far way.
And stirring in him a yearning to possess something that could never be his: her.
With agonizing care, Ben circled his hand around her slender hip, over her smooth
stomach and up to cup a small breast. The peak instantly stiffened, although her breathing
indicated that she was still asleep. Heat, sure and swift, filled his groin and he arched into
her. Within a few hours of first meetingAlannah she'd been in this very bed. And within
those same few hours, that's where he'd wanted to keep her, always.
But the only certainty in their sometimes relationship was that she would leave.
Ben moved to retract his hand.Alannah stirred and caught the limb, pressing it between
her breasts.
"You're awake," he said, his heart thundering in his chest.
She shifted until she was facing him, predawn shadows softening her features and
turning her eyes to liquid black. She reached up and curved her fingers along his cheek
then walked the tips along the line of his jaw. "Hi."
The greeting was simple and direct and filled Ben with a need that transcended the mere
physical. He longed to possess her, inside and out. Make love with her until she begged
for mercy. Hold her to him until they ceased being two separate entities and instead
became one.
"Hi, yourself."
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Her plump lips bowed into a smile. "Did you miss me?"
Had he missed her?Every bloody moment of every single day. He brushed a silky black
coil of hair away from her mouth. "Oh. Were you gone? I hadn't noticed."
She laughed softly thenlay her head against his chest. Intense emotion seared Ben's
insides, rendering him incapable of doing anything more than holding her tightly to him,
his hand hot against her sleek back.
Raised an only child in a family devoid of affection, he had never known that a simple
touch could communicate so much. The writerAnaïsNin once said that ecstasy was born
of the melding of physical need and deep love. When he'd first touchedAlannah he had
discovered the truth in those words. He craved her when she was here, and when she was
gone, leaving him an emotional wreck, he couldn't cope with any more.
He shifted until his chin rested against the top of her fragrant curls and stared at the plant
in the window and the splashes ofcolor beyond it heralding the coming dawn. The son of
a factory worker, he'd accomplished more than he'd ever dreamed of financially. Now his
personal life was in dire need of attention. He found himself craving a wife.Wanting kids.
He looked out over his hulking estate and longed to turn it into a home.
And nowhere in that picture did wildly sexyAlannah fit in, no matter how much he tried
to make it so.
"I missed you,"Alannah whispered against the hair on his chest, the touch of her breath
making him shudder.
"You miss nothing."
She rubbed her cheek against his skin."Maybe."
Her fingers swept lightly over one of his flat male nipples,then trailed down the middle
of his abdomen, leaving flames licking in their wake. Ben drew a ragged breath.
"Alannah.There's something you and I need to discuss."
He trapped her fingers against his stomach, holding tight.
"Sounds ominous."
Perhaps that's because it was.
Ben closed his eyes, calling on every ounce of resolve he had. If this was to be done, it
had to be done now. Before he caved and gave in to his need for her this one last time.
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Before he lost himself in the feel, taste, andsmell of her and forgot himself.
The problem was he feared it was already too late.…
During the weeklong bus trip it took her to get fromTacoma,Washington, and her last job
as a horticulturist toProvidence,Rhode Island, and Ben,Alannah had been afraid that this
would be the time Ben would refuse her. She had seen it in his eyes the last time she'd
left.That expression that said more than words could, but if the words could be spoken,
they would have ended their long-standing spring fling forever. For the past 11 months
she'd worried that he might find the woman who could give him what he wanted, what he
needed. That elusive something that she could not provide: permanence, marriage,
family.
She reasoned that it was that same fear that had compelled her to slip into his house in
the middle of the night, strip out of her clothes then climb into his bed while he slept.
She'd sensed that while emotionally Ben might have erected barriers, physically he
wouldn't be able to refuse her.
But as she lay there still as the waning night, her hand ensnared by his, she feared that
the situation was worse than she'd imagined. He meant to refuse her attentions. Refuse
her need to be with him this one last time.
Longing blended with anguish and pulsed through her so strongly it took her breath
away. She couldn't imagine her life without knowing that Benwas out there somewhere,
wanting her as much as she wanted him.
"Alannah, you and I need to talk," Ben's voice reflected the pain she felt, calling out to
something in her she couldn't resist.
"Shhh," she said, responding to the pain rather than the words. Emotion she could
handle. It was always the words that got to her.
She languidly slid her leg over his. She nearly cried out in relief when she found his
arousal thick and pulsing. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hide his physical
desire for her.
Ben groaned. But rather than move away from her, he pushed her hand toward its
original destination.Alannah's blood thickened as he curled her fingers around his
erection and squeezed both their hands around the hard proof of his desire for her.A need
that couldn't be denied by any amount of mental argument.A want that not even she could
stop herself from wanting.
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Up, then down, he worked her hand against his hot flesh. She flicked her thumb over the
silken dome, coming away with a bead of moisture that told her how close he was to
crisis. If she had any doubt, his actions did away with them. In one smooth move he
pinned her flat against the sheets, spreading her thighs with a quick nudge of his
knee,then resting the knob of his arousal against her slick flesh.Alannah gasped, straining
upward against him, trying to coax him inside. But he compensated for the move, staying
put as he reached for a foil packet in the bedside drawer and began to sheathe himself.
He surged forward, filling her to overflowing. Her back came off the bed as she took him
in, inch by inch, wanting him with a ferocity that erased coherent thought from her mind.
Flames licked over her skin, then exploded inside her body, igniting a fathomless
yearning she feared might not ever be satisfied. He surged forward again, forcing a low
moan from her throat.
If his lovemaking was a little more thoughtful, gentler, than she remembered, she chose
not to acknowledge it. Instead, she curved her fingers down his spine and grasped his
firm rear. Ben muttered something under his breath then bucked against her, teasing the
pearl of her arousal until he pulled back and swelled into her again…and again…and
again.Alannah threw her head back and clutched him harder, her back shifting against the
sheet, her heels finding and digging into his calves as she tilted her hips up to take him
deeper.
This is what she'd been working toward.This total, complete abandonment. These sweet
few moments when she forgot she was a dirt-poor girl from a small town
outsideMemphiswhose parents had died when she was 10, leaving her to raise her little
sister as best she could until child welfare caught up with them. All she could concentrate
on was her desire for the man joining with her, and his need to possess her. The swell of
emotion as their bodies melded then parted, only to meld again. The overwhelming sense
of being outside herself as her soul reached out for something she wouldn't dare hope for
at any other time.
Ben's hand grasped her hips almost roughly, holding her still as he bucked against her
once, twice,then toppled her over the other side of the swirling wash ofcolor , following
shortly thereafter. Giving them both what they'd been after.
* * *
Ben sat across fromAlannah at the large rough-hewn pine table, watching as she pulled
apart a piece of cheese,then slipped a sliver between her lips. She wore one of his crisp
business shirts, the whiteness contrasting against her tanned skin in the dim light of the
kitchen. One button held it together and the flaps bowed open as she reached down and
fed a piece of apple to Elvis, who was all too happy to see his mistress return.
Ben ran his hands through his tangled hair several times, trying to ignore the calling of
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