d20 Mutha Oith Creations What The... - The Wanderers Guild Guide to Absurd Monstrosities.pdf - Mutha Oith Creations - R5700

H OW TO U SE THIS B OOK

Greetings, friend. Welcome to

What The...?: The Wanderers Guild

Guide to Absurd Monstrostiies.

This book continues the Wanderers

Guild Series, a collection of guide-

books de- signed to be of value to

players and game masters alike. The

books in the Wanderers Guild

Series are unique in that they are

presented exclusively from the

viewpoint of an actual member of

the Wanderers Guild, a fantasy

league of explorers, adventurers,

artists and academics.

Game stats for the d20 game sys-

tem have been provided in relevant

sidebars for each entry. Because the

book is written from the points of

various wanderers, no game terms

have been used in the actual body of

the text, allowing the book to be

used as a prop during play. Simply

cover the sidebars with a folded

sheet of paper and the book can be

read by players without concern

that they will learn secret game

information.

If you enjoy this book, be sure to

peruse the other books in the

acclaimed Wanderers Guild Series

(see page 62).

You may notice a lot of these

monsters are low level wusses.

That’s intentional. Maybe next year

we’ll release a free book with more

bad-asses, if you’re good.

W HAT A M I D OING H ERE ?

B Y W AY OF I NTRODUCTION

There we were, minding our own business, walking through an ordinary old swamp. All of a sudden,

I was face-to-face with more eyes, teeth, and facial orifices than I'd ever seen in my life. What the…?

-Covin Vanya, Guild Wanderer

Come one, come all… It feels like I

should be introducing a sideshow of freaks at

the local carnival instead of a respectable

compilation of the Guild - but if I start getting

into nuances, I'll never stop. You see, I'm not

a writer or scribe for the Guild. I don't even

qualify as a proper adventurer, because when

I go anywhere I'm generally just tagging along

drawing specimens in my book. Someone else

always leads. So during one of my recent taga-

longs, we found the weirdest creature, which

we named the "Turdle." It wasn't dangerous in

the least unless you count the fact that it

made everyone giggle incessantly for well

over an hour. Our intrepid leader, Kesh

Ferrar, suggested that *Justin* sketch it and

said we should have some section in the

archives devoted to the absurd creatures the

Guild have found along the years. I, with my

big fat mouth, wholeheartedly agreed, and I

soon found myself in charge of designing such

a book. Now here I am, wondering how the

heck I got talked into this… so please excuse

the sarcasm.

It all started small, with just that

one Turdle. It seemed like an ordinary reptile

until we witnessed its tendency, when threat-

ened, to vacuate its bowels and roll in its own

distinctively aromatic excrement. Apparently

it thought this hideously odiferous act made

it invincible, since its demeanor changed

from cowering to glowering. After that expe-

dition got back to Farwander Hall and we fin-

ished giving our report, we all sat down for a

nice pint of gourmancer ale and started

telling stories. We all know Kesh can't help

but talk himself into the center of attention

when he's drunk, and so of course it was he

who brought up the Turdle, hoping to get a

few laughs. And laughs he got! He also (of

course) told everyone about his idea to start

this book of funny and strange beasts and

prompted me for reassurance. When I said

that yes, I had indeed thought it was a good

idea, he promptly announced that I had

"offered" to compile all the Guild-found

weirdness that hadn't made its way into

another book yet. The fact that I was also

drunk at the time probably prompted the fist-

fight that ensued, but Kesh is this lanky half-

nadthra monstrosity and he always wins fights.

No, he isn't afraid to hit a girl, or at least not

me…

So I lost the fight, and the next

morning the enormity of the task hit me like a

ton of Forcs. I was going to have to search

through all the archives and find monsters

that people could laugh at. We'd already com-

pletely documented a few, but those all

belonged in other books, such as those devot-

ed to a certain setting. I had to go and find all

the bits and pieces that hadn't made their way

to completion for some reason or another -

maybe they were just too weird, or not "seri-

ous" enough for Guild study. Because of this,

most were incomplete. We had notes or a

sketch at best. So I reluctantly punched

myself in the face, picked my nose, and cursed

my own enormous rear end while everyone

else laughed at me…

Oh! Shifty little inkling! I know

exactly how to take care of it. HA! YOU'LL

NEVER GET RID OF MEEeeeeee…

Encounters

Listed after the d20 game stats

for each creature are several

detailed encounter ideas represent-

ing a range of character levels. For

additional encounter ideas or to

submit your own, please visit the

official Wanderers Guild website:

www.wanderersguild.com

Special Entries

Various new trappings, spells,

weapons, and wondrous items are

scattered throughout the pages

of this tome. The Innards page

does not include an index to

these special items because that’s

just too much to ask in a free

book. However, for the edifica-

tion of the inquisitive, that infor-

mation is listed right here:

P AGE 7: A NKLEBITER B ITER

P AGE 25: G IANORMOUS B ANNER

Page 35: M EITER ’ S R OBES

P AGE 39: G LUTTON B UTTON

P AGE 45: G IFT OF G AB ( SPELL )

P AGE 47: S IGNET R ING OF F ORGERY

(hidden within the text for extra fun)

P AGE 53: S ASSY - SQUASH G OULASH

Whew. If you've never heard of an

inkling, see the exhaustive study included in

these pages.

As I was saying, I reluctantly

recruited several Guild scribes and artists to

flesh out the entries we found. There were

even some new ones brought back by expedi-

Words By: Meg Lyman

Art? By: Justin Russell & Andy

Page Two

tions during the time I was working. This book

represents the hard work of a lot of artists,

writers, and explorers, especially me. And all

for your amusement. Oh well, it's not so

bad… I could be cleaning Morgandale's cham-

ber pots.

the Guild I don't know), and they of course

shoved me off into this other world to illus-

trate the creature. This tome, therefore, is

like the Wanderers Guild Guide to Funny

Freaks at the Carnival, and provided more for

amusement than as any sort of scientific

study. You know, some of these might even be

made up - a kooky conglomorative collabora-

tion of some of the more prankish artists and

writers in the Guild. But most of it is real; I

swear that there are such hilarities prowling

the lands around Farwander. I've seen and

laughed at more than a few, myself.

Enjoy and laugh, but don't bust your

What we have presented here is a

collection of monsters from a plethora of

habitats and locales, with little or nothing in

common except that the Guild found them

and they're all completely absurd. They range

from laughable to frightening and punny to

otherworldly. We even have an entry written

by someone from a totally different plane of

existence (how he got it here or heard about

gut.

-Kolyma, Guild Artist

What’s this thing. Some kind fo freaky anteater or something?

Page Three

d20 Mutha Oith Creations What The... - The Wanderers Guild Guide to Absurd Monstrosities.pdf

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