15 Mistakes You Need to Avoid.pdf

How To Stop Blowing It With Men

15 Mistakes You Need To Avoid

Kara Oh

The Heart Whisperer ™

o o o

Dating after the age of 35 or 40 is like walking blindly through a minefield because you

might unknowingly be making a mistake that could cause a man to either not want to take

you out, or if he does, not want a second date. I’m not going to talk about the minor

things that are of no real consequence. In this book we’re going to focus on those that are

potential deal breakers.

It’s the mysterious mistakes that you’re unaware of that cause that great guy to lose

interest, never to be heard from again. It’s especially mystifying when you think the date

went well and he doesn’t call back. You end up wondering what went wrong.

Because he’s too chicken or too polite to tell you why you never heard from him again,

you can only guess, and sadly, all too often, you end up writing him off as a jerk, which

isn’t always the case.

Wouldn’t it be useful if you could get honest feedback from him? Without it, how are

you going to improve your dating skills and build your confidence? If you don’t have a

clue how you’re coming across maybe the most common mistakes described below will

help you see something you’ve been doing wrong without realizing it, maybe for years.

If you’re going to have any chance at all to “get it right,” you need to begin the

marvelous adventure of learning to become a woman who knows what she’s doing, not

just thinks she knows what she’s doing. This shift can only happen when you awaken

your awareness.

What’s The Point Of Self-Improvement?

The reason to launch into self-improvement is so you can finally attract a man who will

give you the love and kind of relationship you’re looking for. The better you are at being

happy and attractive, at opening your heart to his, and at communicating with and

understanding what makes men tick, the more fascinating and attractive you’ll be. Plus,

the more attractive you are in every way – not just physically – the more you’ll attract

higher quality men which will give you more choices to select from.

The trade-off? You have to put some conscious effort into learning to open your heart

and making some changes, but you’ll get to be a woman who is happier and more

fulfilled. With the help of my books, I’ll take you by the hand and show you exactly what

to do, step-by-step, to become the woman of his dreams.

How To Stop Blowing It With Men

Where Did You Learn To Date?

Like most of us, you probably learned to date when you were in high school, then added

to your skills in college, basically, getting along by hit or miss. Even on the occasions

when you got it right, do you know what worked? Can you repeat it? Probably not.

So now, here you are, ready to start dating seriously because you really want to find a

special man with whom to share your life.

To brush up on your dating skills maybe you’ve read a book or two and a few of those

quickie articles in women’s magazines. Armed with this fountain of wisdom, you head

out on your first date. It seems to go pretty well… But he doesn’t call back.

Then another first date… This man doesn’t call back either.

What’s going on, you wonder? You start to doubt yourself, “What am I doing wrong?”

Well, I’m here to help you make it through that minefield. This ebook will help give you

much needed insight into the mysteries of dating more effectively.

You will intrigue more of the men you meet and when that special man comes along, he

won’t be able to keep you off his mind. That’s when you get enthusiastic calls for a

second date. With Feminine Grace your beautiful energy will flow freely and you’ll have

more fun on your dates and get lots more attention from men. I’ll teach you how.

Those Mysterious Dating Mistakes

This is a guide to the top 15 dating mistakes women make. Men have told me about their

experiences with women who have made these mistakes. (By the way, men make a lot of

these mistakes as well, but this is about you.) As you read about each mistake, please be

open to the possibility that you might be making one or more of them on your dates.

Once you become aware of what you’ve been doing wrong, you’ll be able to make real

changes. Personal growth is all about awareness because you can’t fix a problem without

first becoming aware of what you’re doing wrong.

Some women say, “He needs to accept me as I am.” Well, that’s true, but if “as you are”

(or more accurately, “as you have been in the past”) is unappealing in some way, maybe

turning men off, or scaring them, wouldn’t you want to know about it?

Yes, dating is about learning what you want and what you don’t want in a man, of course.

But more important than that, I want you to see each date as an opportunity . It truly is a

fascinating opportunity, as you’ll soon discover, to bring out the magnificent woman that

has always been within you.

That’s what you should want for yourself… to shine so bright you dazzle him. So be

open to the possibility that what you think is the “real you” is just someone who is

How To Stop Blowing It With Men

unaware of how you’re coming across to the men you meet; unaware that you’re turning

men off; and unaware that you could be someone that men – and everyone else – is

attracted to and loves being around.

Please, please be open to the real opportunity that is waiting just in front of you. If you

get offended or resist what I’m sharing here, you will stay stuck… and alone.

Instead, see that this is an opportunity to use this “dating adventure” as inspiration and

motivation, a diving off place, to begin the most fascinating journey of your life, the

journey to the real “real you,” not what you thought was the real you. You’re amazing,

beautiful, with a deep capacity to be happy and when you start shining your brightest,

men will find you absolutely magnetic.

It’s now time to find out what the top dating mistakes are…

Dating Mistake #1

You’re Nervous

How To Correct It?

Create Rapport

Some women don’t know how to create rapport. When there’s no rapport it’s more

difficult to feel comfortable. If you don’t know how to create rapport, you can’t get

relaxed and you can’t get him relaxed enough to have a fun conversation. You can’t learn

what you need to learn about each other because you’re both too nervous to know what to

say. Nothing feels natural and it’s possible that both of you are turned off.

Yes, it would be nice if he knew how to create rapport, but you can’t count on that. This

is your life and your future. It’s within your power to make your date not only good, but

also delightful, filled with fun and enjoyment… for both of you. When you know how to

create rapport you’ll be well ahead of most every other woman he’s met.

Note: Don’t forget that one of the ebooks you received was Creating Rapport That Leads

To More . Be sure take advantage of everything that I offer you there.

Knowing how to make him feel comfortable and relaxed will allow him to really see who

you are. I’ve observed that no one who’s nervous or uncomfortable is able to be open to

the other person.

An important part of creating rapport with someone is being able to open your heart to

his, which will cause him to relax and naturally begin to open his heart to you. That’s

when the potential for real magic can occur. And he’ll think you’re pretty special.

Let’s meet Michael:

How To Stop Blowing It With Men

Michael is a 47-year-old architect who lives in the Los Angeles area. He’s nice looking

but not gorgeous, 5’10”, not too heavy, receding hairline, and a very pleasant, good guy.

Michael shares, “I went out with a woman who, on the surface, was exactly what I was

looking for. But about halfway through the evening I realized that she hadn’t asked me

one question about myself. It felt a little bit like she hadn’t noticed that I was there with

her. Sort of strange. After that I started watching her with different eyes, not so much

about how great she looked but how she made me feel. It didn’t get any better so I didn’t

ask her out again.”

This woman probably had no idea why Michael never called her again. She probably

didn’t know how to create comfort within herself, make him feel special or communicate

her interest in him. She didn’t know how to create rapport.

Dating Mistake #2

You’re Negative

How To Correct It?

Be Positive

Men are attracted to happy women. If you complain, whine, find fault, or blame others

(or show him in your stories that you are a negative woman) on your first date, he

probably won’t ask you out again and you won’t have a clue why he disappeared.

Most people are repelled by negative people.

What’s odd is that negative people generally don’t know they’re negative. That’s because

they usually blame others or circumstances for what happens to them. They feel perfectly

justified. Blamers don’t see their part in a situation or take responsibility for what

happens to them.

You may not realize you’re a negative person but if you seem to have difficulty with a lot

of people, you might want to ask a trusted friend if you’re sometimes negative. When you

are a positive woman you will automatically put a man at ease, bring out his best side,

make him feel understood, and make the date fun. You’ll be someone who’s appreciative

and complimentary of “the good” in people and situations and thus more attractive to

every man you meet.

There’s plenty going on around us every day that can “justifiably” turn us all “negative”

if we let it. Don’t risk losing a good man by unwittingly being negative.

Even if you’re “not his type,” if you’re able to stay positive, no matter what, he’ll

thoroughly enjoy his time with you. And guess what? If you’re fun to be with, he might

tell his single friends about you. Best of all, you’ll have a whole lot more fun.

How To Stop Blowing It With Men

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