-- Chapter 7 - Diffrent kind of hurt --
“Yuuki, will you stop looking at every single bargain you see?” Zero sounded annoyed as he glanced over his shoulder and saw Yuuki a few feet away, looking with rapt attention at some rather girlish dresses displayed in a shop window. The banner proclaiming “Sale On Now!” hung over the shop entrance wafted gently in the evening breeze.
Yuuki looked absently up the street at Zero, before she reluctantly walked to meet him. “All right, all right, let’s go…” she grumbled. Zero didn’t say anything as they continued on their way to the bus stop. She glanced at him, laden with packages, the result of their two hour of grocery shopping at the Chairman’s request. Yuuki hadn’t minded in the least – any outing was fun for her and she didn’t really notice Zero’s increasing wariness as the sun started to set.
“It’s time we went back, you know” he muttered to her. Yuuki made a face at him “It’s Sunday, the Night Class won’t be out till much later” She’d actually wanted to stop by her favourite café that sold delicious ice-cream sundaes but she’d lingered so long over the dresses she’d seen earlier that they didn’t have time for tea.
Zero kept hustling Yuuki along – the bus stop was still two blocks away and he would feel much better once they’d safely reached the secured and gated compounds of Cross Academy, despite the fact his Bloody Rose gun was tucked in the back of his trousers.
As they walked past a deserted alley, the back of Zero’s neck prickled. He could practically feel the almost invisible hairs on his arms stand on end – there was someone… or something… lurking in the alley, and he knew it was looking intently at both of them…
“I’m hungry” said Yuuki rather crossly as she marched along – did Zero have to walk so fast? He knew her legs were much shorter than his and they still had time to spare before the bus left…
Zero shifted the bags in his right hand to his left and closed long fingers over Yuuki’s elbow, practically dragging her along. “Hurry” he urged.
Yuuki tried to tug her arm free. “Zero, quit pulling me along, I’ll fall!”
The something… that was in the alley had moved closer to them, risking being seen as it tried to get nearer. Zero’s jaw clenched. Sensing acute danger had made his fangs grow a little in response and he knew his eyes must be changing colour as well…
As Yuuki continued to fuss, he bent down suddenly to whisper in her ear “Yuuki, there’s someone following us, I think it could be… a stray vampire…” There was no way to explain it, but Zero knew. Perhaps it was the hunter blood in him, coming from generations of proud vampire hunters, perhaps it was his heightened senses, a cursed gift from being a vampire himself… in any case, he had to make sure Yuuki got back safely - she was under his watch, his protection…
Yuuki had shut up as soon as Zero’s words registered in his mind. She could feel an evil presence now (or thought she did anyhow) and her right hand automatically reached into the left sleeve of the jeans jacket she was wearing over her T-shirt, pulling out her Artemis Rod.
Zero gave her a little push. “Run, Yuuki. I’ll take care of him…” Abruptly, he stopped walking and dropped the packages he’d been carrying. The street they were now walking in was rather deserted, the shops having closed half an hour ago. Zero’s uneasy gaze swept up and down the street before he turned and faced the alley they were standing in front of. It was further up from the one they were at when he’d first sensed the evil presence but he knew the agility of vampires, it was no effort at all to climb up and down drainpipes or leap from the roofs that jutted out over the back alleys.
Zero reached behind his back and pulled out his Bloody Rose gun, its chain links clinking softly as he brought the gun in front of him. It’s familiar weight and feel was steady in his right hand as his thumb released the safety catch. A soft sliding sound from behind reached his ear as Yuuki extended her weapon to its full length, blithely disregarding Zero’s instruction to run. He cursed softly under his breath – why did she always, always, never listen to him…!
Yuuki stood lightly, poised for battle, adrenaline rushing through her, along with the old fear that had never quite left her… not when her earliest memories had consisted of a blood crazed vampire, seconds away from killing her on a blood soaked snowy mountain…
Then, she saw him. A creature leapt down lightly, gracefully, from the three story high rooftop to land in front of Zero. He lifted his head, sniffing their scent and the streetlamp a few feet away illuminated his dirty face and glinted off his fangs as he bared his lips at them.
“What’s this?” he said and the bloodlust madness was evident in his voice, soft as it was. “A choice morsel of meat… just for me?” The creature grinned and licked his lips in anticipation.
Even Yuuki could smell the unwashed state of his clothing; the smell must have been overpowering to Zero and he also caught the scent of drying blood on the creature’s mouth, chin and shirt as well. The vampire had fed and recently, but it hadn’t been enough…
“Ooo, what’s that? A shiny toy?” goaded the vampire now as his eyes fell on the Bloody Rose gun in Zero’s hand. It was pointed steadily at him but he didn’t seem afraid. “But I don’t want your blood, kind sir… I want hers… I can smell it… so sweet… so delicious…” the high mad laugh that followed raised goose bumps on Yuuki’s skin and she took a step back, small hands clenched tight on her Artemis rod.
“Over… my… dead… body” ground out Zero, eyes narrowed and the vampire paused for a moment, catching sight of Zero’s lengthening fangs and blood red eyes.
“Oho…! So she’s yours, is she? Were you planning to keep her all to yourself then?” asked the vampire wickedly. “Tut tut, mustn’t be selfish you know, I’m sure she’d got enough blood to share…” he murmured thoughtfully.
Zero snarled, knuckles turning white as he gripped his gun tighter. He knew the vampire was rankling him, trying to make him angry enough to get careless, but he couldn’t help it – he would die before he let this filthy creature get his hands on Yuuki.
The creature bent his knees then suddenly, he was soaring up into the air, somersaulting over Zero’s head and landing lightly back on his feet in the space between Yuuki and Zero, facing her now.
Zero cursed and swung round. He saw the stark fear on Yuuki’s face as she gasped, her Artemis rod seemingly frozen in her grasp. The vampire closed the gap between them and reached out claw-like hands towards Yuuki.
For a moment, it was as it Yuuki had been transported back ten years ago to when she was just a little girl on a snow covered mountain. The crazed look in the vampire’s eyes then was the same as this one – with no rational thought save getting blood and not caring if they had to kill to do it. In fact, killing was probably part of the joy of getting the blood…
Get a grip, Yuuki! she scolded herself and breaking out of the spell of fear, she raised the weapon she held in both hands, feeling the familiar smoothness of the polished surface under her fingers, knowing and feeling its weight, its reach and its abilities.
Twisting aside to avoid the greedy claws, Yuuki steadied herself with one foot planted firmly behind before springing forward, weight on her other foot as she brought the rod down hard on the vampire’s left shoulder. She felt the bone jarring thud as it reverberated back up her stick and all the way up her arms. The vampire stumbled to his knees.
But before Yuuki could bring up her rod again, the vampire leapt up from his current position, launching himself at her, snarling, fangs bared, claws reaching out towards her throat… and Yuuki froze, her horrified eyes on the madness shining out from his eyes, his fangs long and terrible, dried blood staining his lips and chin.
“Yuuki! Get down – now!!” Zero shouted, his panic-laced voice echoed through the back alley and Yuuki wrenched herself out of her fear-induced immobility. She dropped flat on the ground, breaking her fall with the palms of her hands although both knees and one side of her hip registered pain as they struck against the hard ground. She didn’t have time to stuff fingers in her ears before the deafening blast of Zero’s Bloody Rose gun echoed around the darkened alley.
There was a startled screech from the vampire and Yuuki felt something splatter on the back of her head and back. Thankfully, the crazed vampire’s knees bent as he fell, causing him to topple over backwards, away from her instead of onto her. Yuuki remained where she was for a moment… not daring to lift her head, not wanting to see the gruesome sight of the dead vampire lying only feet away from her, trying to reassure herself she was still alive and more or less still in one piece.
A hand on her shoulder shook her. “Yuuki!” said Zero urgently. “Are you OK?”
Yuuki shuddered then raised herself off the ground. She grasped Zero’s fingers as he pulled her up. The body of the dead vampire crumbled to dust and she averted her eyes from the pile of rags and dust that had once been a living, breathing person… before he became a vampire. Shuddering again, Yuuki pushed the thought away, her mind shrinking away from what it meant to her… about Zero…
Zero ran his hands lightly down her arms. “Are you OK? Are you hurt anywhere?”
Yuuki shook her head. Her knees stung and her side ached but she was fine. “Let’s go…”
Zero swept a glance along the street, knowing the gunshot would attract attention in less than a minute’s time. He hurriedly picked up the packages and hustled Yuuki back down the alley, sensing there were no more creatures lurking there. They faster they got away from the scene, the better. As they neared the end of the alley, he remembered to fish in his jacket pocket for his sunglasses, slipping them on to mask the colour of his eyes.
- o -
On his way back from the bathroom, Zero noticed Yuuki’s room light was still switched on. It was already three in the morning and she should’ve been asleep by then but somehow, he wasn’t surprised. That was a rather nasty shock for anyone, to be attacked by a crazed vampire but for Yuuki whose first memories had been of a very similar sort, it would have to have been down right upsetting.
He tapped lightly on her door. “Yuuki? You still awake?”
A pause. Then he heard her soft voice. “Come in, Zero”
He opened the door. Yuuki was sitting on her bed, arms hugging her knees. There were faint purple shadows under her large brown eyes that still held a haunted look in their depths. Zero’s heart constricted – he wanted to erase anything that would cause Yuuki to do anything other than smile, laugh or even look annoyed…
“Can’t sleep, huh…” he said quietly, walking over to the bed and sitting down beside her. Yuuki nodded, shifting slightly towards the wall to make more room for him. She leaned against him as he placed his left arm around her shoulders. “It’s OK, you’re safe now” he said, adding “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Yuuki sighed. “I know…” She reached up her right hand to thread her fingers through his as it lay on her shoulder. “But when he bared his fangs at me…” she broke off and shuddered at the memory of those blood red eyes, without a trace of lucidity left in them save madness, bluish lips that pulled back to reveal horrifyingly long and large fangs on which hung strings of saliva and the revolting smell of old blood and decay that clung to him. That look, although it only lasted a few seconds, seemed imprinted onto her memory and prevented her from finding restful sleep. It seemed that whenever she closed her eyes, there was that demented crazed face only inches away from her face, before Zero’s voice rang out as he aimed and fired.
Yuuki pulled her hand back to turn and bury her face in Zero’s chest, shuddering uncontrollably, her hands clutching at his pyjama shirt front. “I was so scared…” she whispered.
Zero wrapped both arms around her, holding her close. “Shhh, it’s over now. Don’t think anymore…” he soothed her, one hand rubbing her back comfortingly.
Yuuki was silent for a few minutes and Zero felt her warm tears soaking his shirt front then she spoke haltingly “All I could think of when I saw those fangs was how much it would hurt… when he bit me…” She broke off to huddle closer to Zero.
Zero froze. His mind registered only two words from the many that Yuuki had spoken – fangs… hurt… bit… The words echoed again and again in his mind and a knife of dread and guilt twisted in his gut.
Yuuki didn’t realise the change in Zero at first. Only slowly, did she become aware that his body had grown tense. Moments later, those warm comforting arms that had enveloped her fell away as Zero stood up.
Bereft of his warmth, Yuuki lifted a tear-stained face to look up at him. “Zero….?” She was shocked to see the depth of pain in the tormented amethyst eyes that looked down at her. He was pressing the whitened knuckles of one fist against his teeth hard enough to draw blood.
“All this time… and you never once said a word…” he said in a low voice shaking with emotion. “Why, Yuuki?” As she continued to stare up at him, baffled, he added harshly “Was it because you pitied me?! Is that why you never told me…? Is it…?!” Unable to bear the suspense, he grasped her shoulders, his fingers bruising her skin as he shook her. Hard.
Yuuki gasped. Had Zero gone mad? What was he saying? She reached up to grab his wrists in her hands. “Zero, stop it! Stop it!”
Zero snatched his hands away, flinging Yuuki’s hands off, panting, belatedly realising he was on the verge of hurting her - if he hadn’t already…
“What was I suppose to tell you?” demanded Yuuki, more shaken than she cared to admit. She’d never seen Zero in this state before…
Zero’s hands were clenched into tight fists at his side. “That it hurt… each time I drank your blood…” His voice was hoarse as he forced out the words from a throat tight with pain.
Yuuki gasped – had she said that? No, she hadn’t… she hadn’t!
“That you were afraid of that crazed Level E vampire… that is me, Yuuki! That is what I will become!” Zero couldn’t have stopped the anguished cry even if he wanted to. This was one of his worst fears – that Yuuki feared his bloodlust, that he caused her pain each time he drank from her… and that she thought him a worthless mindless vampire, crazed with bloodlust and the urge to kill and devour… But how had she managed to hide this from him all this time? he wondered, sickened with disgust. How had she managed to convince him with her kind words and gentle hands that she didn’t one bit… that she even… wanted… a little… the closeness that they shared each time after he drank from her?
Zero swung around, his back towards Yuuki and uttered a hopeless groan, pressing the palms of both hands against his closed eyes. Behind him, Yuuki also closed her eyes but fresh tears slipped down her cheeks all the same. She thought back to the words she’d said and realised now that Zero had mistakenly thought they applied to him as well. But they didn’t. They never did. And she had to make him understand that…
Quietly, she stood up and took a step towards him. Even so, Zero tensed, aware of her presence right behind him. Yuuki wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek against his back.
“Zero?” Yuuki’s voice shook despite her effort to speak steadily. He took a breath as if he meant to speak and Yuuki shook her head, saying “No, please listen to what I have to say…”
Zero removed his hands from his eyes. He nodded once.
Yuuki took a deep breath before she spoke. “When I said I was frightened of how it would hurt when he bit me… if… he bit me… I meant that vampire, Zero. The one you killed. Not you. Not ever you.” Her words were fervently spoken.
She felt a shudder ripple through him and hugged him tighter. “Because… because his fangs were so long… so thick… and they – they – disgusted me…” An image of those fangs dripping saliva crossed her mind again and she shivered again.
Zero was silent for a moment then his arms lowered to his sides but he didn’t attempt to touch her. He knew what she meant, he’d seen those fangs himself. They were more like the fangs you’d find in the mouth of a carnivore than a vampire. But still…
“I have fangs too, Yuuki…” he said quietly, despondently.
“No… well, yes… but… they’re different, Zero! Yours are different…”
Zero shook his head. Different? They were all the same – just an efficient tool to puncture the skin of a victim and to draw blood… just a feature that marked him as a creature of the damned…
He felt her shaking her head against his back. It was as if she knew what words were going through his mind.
“No, Zero… yours aren’t like his… yours aren’t frightening…” Yuuki trailed off, blushing a little although she didn’t know why, only that each word she said was true.
Slowly, Zero turned to face her and Yuuki’s arms dropped to her sides. He looked into her tear-drenched eyes. “How are mine different from his, Yuuki?” he asked quietly, frowning a little.
Yuuki hunched a shoulder, heartened to see the anguished look in his eyes had faded somewhat. “Well, they’re not that… long… I guess…” she said vaguely. She reluctantly pictured again the wild snarling mouth awash in blood, with Zero’s own mouth when he’d drawn back his lips and about to sink his fangs into her wrist – the difference was there; she just couldn’t think of the right word to use.
Zero was still looking at her as if wondering if she’d hit her head earlier and Yuuki huffed, a little frustrated. “Yours are – are – I guess the right word would be – er, ‘refined’…” she trailed off, wondering where on earth that word had come from.
Zero’s mouth actually fell open as he stared at Yuuki, seemingly speechless for a long moment. Then – “Refined? Refined?” he repeated incredulously, disbelief written all over his face.
“Uh… yeah…” muttered Yuuki, flushing. God, how pathetic… couldn’t she have come up with a better word? But honestly, school syllabus – the one she was used to, anyway - had not prepared her to “Please List Suitable Adjectives to Describe the Physical Appearance of the Elongated Canines Commonly Found in the Mouths of Two-legged Nocturnal Blood-sucking Creatures Also Known As Vampires”…
Yuuki closed her eyes for a moment, cursing under her breath. She was trying her best to make Zero feel better about this but obviously, she’d failed miserably.
“Refined…” repeated Zero and his voice sounded choked.
Yuuki opened her eyes to glare at him – must he repeat that damned word so many times? Only to stare at the grin that was slowly spreading over Zero’s face. She blinked at him. And gaped when he started chuckling. A second later, it had turned to helpless laughter, Yuuki’s look of bewilderment and somewhat righteous indignation making him laugh even harder. He shouldn’t laugh, he didn’t even know why her did – he’d been in so much anguish seconds earlier over the thought that Yuuki had actually hated and dreaded the times he’d drunk from her… but when she’d suddenly tossed in such an absurd word into the whole confusing mix…
It took a couple of minutes before Zero finally calmed down enough to speak. Yuuki still had a small frown on her face and a wary suspicious look in her eyes but she was smiling rather bemusedly all the same, wondering when she’d suddenly developed a gift for making Zero crack up… first, at the recent dance, then now…
“I suppose – I suppose I should be properly dressed in a dinner jacket with a linen napkin on my lap before partaking of your blood in future?” he said, deadpan, when he had finally sobered up.
Yuuki gasped at this, then broke into a rather watery giggle. “Well, your fangs are refined” she muttered somewhat crossly, in a so-there sort of tone. “Or would you rather I use the word ‘delicate’?” she shot back at him.
Zero grimaced and shook his head. “Refined is good” he said, lips twitching a little as he tried to remain serious.
Yuuki smiled back at him. “I’m not frightened of you, Zero. Truly.” she said softly but sincerely. He closed his eyes, finally believing the words to be true. “Yuuki…” he said as he opened his eyes again and there was a world of tenderness in that one word that made her eyes overflow again.
A moment later, the haunted look was back. “But - it does hurt… whenever I take your blood… doesn’t it?” he asked, rather wretchedly. Of course it hurt, idiot… he berated himself. He was piercing her sensitive soft skin each time, hard enough to make her blood well up, of course it hurt! What did he expect, to have Yuuki’s nerves short-circuit for a few seconds each time his fangs touched her skin?!
Yuuki was looking at the myriad of emotions flickering in Zero’s eyes. It was no point saying no, it didn’t hurt - that would’ve been an outright lie and they both knew it. But she had to make him see that the slight sting she felt was nothing – no, less than nothing compared to the other things she felt…
“Yes, it does hurt… when you bite me, Zero” she said evenly, her heart constricting as Zero blanched, even though he’d been mentally prepared for the words.
“But do you know where it hurts?” she asked softly, holding his gaze with her own that always seemed to see right down into his very soul and know what he was thinking.
Zero swallowed. “Your neck?” he guessed, guilt lacing his words.
Yuuki shook her head. Slowly.
“Erm… your wrist?”
Again, Yuuki shook her head.
A puzzled frown appeared between Zero’s eyebrows – had he bitten her anywhere else? Well, yeah - probably in his fevered dreams… but not actually…
“Here, Zero. It hurts me here” and Yuuki placed a hand over her heart and saw his eyes widen in response.
“Your fangs… they’re just like an ant bite… or the prick of a needle… it doesn’t hurt, not really… But because I know you don’t want to drink my blood… and you don’t want to hurt me… that’s why it hurts here, Zero” Yuuki’s voice quivered despite her efforts to steady it and she had to take a shaky breath before she continued.
“But the actual blood drinking doesn’t hurt… it never did” she said softly, the gentleness in her eyes compelling Zero to stare at her and believe in her words. “It’s more than just… just helping you, you know…” she continued, her voice hardly above a whisper. “It’s having you hold me…” she couldn’t continue and had to pause to swallow the lump in her throat.
Zero’s throat worked as he swallowed hard in return. Despite his steadying breath, his eyes misted with shameful tears that he tried to blink away.
“Oh, Zero” murmured Yuuki, her own eyes spilling over with more tears. “Never think that you hurt me when you drink my blood. Never…”
Zero uttered a strangled sob then he pulled her into his arms, shuddering as he held her close to his wildly beating heart. “Yuuki” he breathed. “I – I – ” he broke off, words failing him.
Yuuki listened to his heartbeat for a moment before she said softly “It doesn’t hurt because I want you to drink my blood, Zero… and you always… always…” she faltered as she thought of a word to encompass the appreciative way Zero made her feel like her gift was something precious to him – from the way he tenderly licked her neck before and after he pierced her skin, to the way he whispered ‘thank you’, to the way he held her after that…
“… you always act like you care… about me…” she whispered before hiding her flushed face in his chest.
Zero swallowed again before he trusted himself enough to speak without breaking down completely. “I do…” he said, even though it was rather the understatement of the century.
They sat in silence for a while as Yuuki listened to his heartbeat slowing down to its usual steady rate. She yawned and rubbed her face against his rather damp shirt, causing Zero to groan silently. “Hey, Yuuki? Think you can sleep now?” he asked, pulling back slightly to look at her.
Yuuki yawned again but still looked rather apprehensive. “What if… I have nightmares?” she murmured, staring fixedly at the top button on Zero’s pyjama shirt.
“Hey, if you’re scared to sleep alone, all you have to do is ask…” teased Zero softly, even though he knew it would give him more pleasure to sleep beside her, than it would Yuuki. At least, he thought so.
She peeped up at him. “You don’t mind?”
Zero rolled his eyes. Mind…? Mind?! “Well, I guess not…” he replied as nonchalantly as he could. Why in heaven’s name would he mind…?!
Yuuki ran her fingers over her face, wiping off any remaining tears that hadn’t managed to find their way onto Zero’s shirt. “Your shirt’s wet again…” she murmured apologetically, reaching out a hand to finger the damp material. Zero hoped she hadn’t noticed that simple gesture had caused his heartbeat to start speeding up.
“Should I remove my shirt then?” he asked with a completely serious face.
“No!”
Then, afraid he would catch a chill or fever, Yuuki relented. “Well, if you don’t want to fall sick…” she hedged. Zero’s lips twisted - there was no chance he would fall sick with just a small damp patch on his shirt but it was rather too good an opportunity to miss…
“I’ll get the light” Zero offered and walked back to the door where the light switch was located, unbuttoning his shirt as he went. As the room plunged into darkness, illuminated only with the light streaming in the windows courtesy of streetlamp outside, he slid the deadbolt home and walked back to the bed, slipping off his shirt and dropping it on Yuuki’s desk. As expected, Yuuki had turned around and was studiously looking at the wall the bed stood against, stiffening slightly as she felt Zero’s weight shift her mattress.
“Relax, Yuuki…” Zero’s voice held a hint of laughter as he pulled Yuuki’s rather stiff back against his chest and lay down, supporting her weight. She didn’t say anything at first as she shifted slightly down to pillow her head against his left shoulder and snuggled a little closer.
Then “Goodnight, Zero” she said rather primly but rather spoiled the effect when she pulled his right arm across her stomach and laced the fingers of her right hand with his. She snuggled just a little closer to his chest, relishing the warmth of his bare chest against her back. Cautiously, Zero shifted his hips slightly apart from hers – he didn’t think a repeat of what happened at the dance last time was a good idea at this very moment…
“Goodnight, Yuuki” he murmured, bending his head to drop a kiss onto her hair. “Sleep tight…”
Yuuki yawned again and this time, she fell into a dreamless sleep, held closely against Zero’s warmth.
-- To Be Continued --
BiJooMin