-- Chapter 6 - May I hace this dance part 4 --
After the dance ended, Yuuki declined the next one and moved to lean against the wall. She was a little tired and her calves were starting to ache. She looked around the ballroom again, rather hopelessly. It was impossible that she was unable to find Zero now. Earlier that evening, everytime she looked, she’d seen his tall form leaning against the wall, arms folded, watching the gaiety with sombre eyes. But each time she tried to reach his side, she’d been waylaid by someone else wanting a dance or a chat.
And now the evening was drawing to a close with only two songs left to play - she'd checked earlier... Yuuki let her head rest against the wall and closed her eyes in despair. Where could Zero be? She still owed him a dance.
“Yuuki-chan!”
It was Takuma, smiling as he made his way towards her, light glinting of the shiny strands of light brown hair that fell carelessly over his eyes. “Hey, dance again with me?” he said, reaching for her hand.
Yuuki hesitated. She had already danced with him earlier… but no, it was Zero she wanted to dance with now. “No, thank you, Ichijo-sempai…” she refused him gently as she pulled back her hand. He looked rather startled at first, and she now realised she must be one of the few girls, if any, who would actually refuse to dance with the tall, gentle vampire with the beautiful smile.
Then his brow cleared as he looked towards his left, where Yuuki’s eyes were suddenly drawn to.
“Ah, Kaname!” he greeted, turning back to wink at Yuuki. “Don’t worry, Yuuki-chan, I understand perfectly…!” Without waiting to hear her reply, he turned away, thinking that Yuuki must have been waiting for Kaname to dance with her again.
“Yuuki, shall we…” Kaname held out his hand to her then paused, seeing the look of despair in Yuuki’s eyes which she tried unsuccessfully to hide. “What’s wrong, my dear?”
She really shouldn’t burden him with such petty problems as this… but…
“Kaname-sempai, it’s Zero, I can’t find him anywhere!” she burst out.
“Kiriyu-kun? Why would you be looking for him?” and Kaname just couldn’t help the hard note that crept into his voice. Then more gently, “Can I help instead?”
Yuuki shook her head regretfully. “No, Kaname-sempai… I wanted to dance with Zero, it’s almost the last dance already… but I just can’t find him!”
Kaname stood silent for a moment, watching Yuuki bite her lip as a sudden tear of frustration slid down her cheek. A clean handkerchief gently lifted it away. “Don’t cry, Yuuki” he murmured gently.
Yuuki took a deep breath and smiled tearfully. “Silly, isn’t it… but I promised myself I would dance with you, and Fa – the Chairman, and Zero. And I have danced with you both but…” she broke off, blinking hard.
Kaname was silent for a moment as he regarded her, then he sighed soundlessly, knowing his wish of seeing her happy was always greater than that of minimising any time she spent in that ex-human’s miserable company. So be it… after all, it was only a dance.
“If that’s the case, you don’t have to cry, Yuuki” he smiled, placing elegant hands on her bare shoulders to turn her towards one of the French windows on the left side of the ballroom. “Kiriyu-kun is outside on the balcony…third one from the left”
Yuuki turned to look at him in surprise then a smile of delight crossed her features as she blinked away her tears. The thought that Kaname might be mistaken, or deliberately misleaading her never even occurred to her. She pressed his hands in gratitude, thanking him mutely with her eyes before whirling around and moving quickly towards the set of French windows he indicated.
“You’re too kind, Kaname…” murmured Takuma who had materialised quietly at Kaname’s side. The two vampires watched as Yuuki pulled open the French windows and stepped out onto the balcony.
“It’s only a dance, Takuma…” Kaname’s voice was quiet.
Zero was looking out at the school grounds, his arms folded on the top of the wrought iron railing, heedless of the cool night wind ruffling his silvery hair. Bending down to rest his forehead on his forearms, he groaned silently. He must be going mad - having thought of Yuuki all evening, he could now even trick his senses into smelling her soft sweet scent right on this balcony… Why was he still out here, tormenting himself further? A soft step sounded behind him and he swung around and straightened up, automatically wiping all expression from his face, but his eyes widened when he saw Yuuki standing before him.
“Yuuki…?” he said softly, incredulously. Here on the darkened balcony, her dress and skin seemed to glow softly and he took a step closer, his keen eyesight taking in the sheen of tears still visible in the large brown eyes staring at him. “What’s wrong, Yuuki? Did someone…” His chest constricted for a moment, had someone tried to…
Yuuki shook her head impatiently. “I’m fine. Is this where you’ve been hiding all this time?” she asked.
He relaxed a fraction when he heard annoyance in her voice, rather than fear, then shrugged with studied carelessness. “So?”
Hands on hips, Yuuki sighed exasperatedly. It’s almost the last dance, Zero…!”
“Go enjoy it with Kuran then…” he said shortly, squashing the almost wild hope that had surged up in him when he first saw her.
“But… it’s you I want to dance with” she said, in a softer tone.
Zero's jaw dropped. “What?” he breathed, unbelievingly.
“I said, I want to dance with you!” Yuuki caught one of his hands in her own small one. “And I didn’t know where you were hiding all this time. C’mon, it's going to start…!”
Zero resisted her tugging, even as his long fingers closed around her warm small hand. “I don’t want to go back in there” he protested, wincing as the words made him sound rather like a petulant child.
Yuuki tossed her head. “Fine, then we’ll dance here...” she said, shivering slightly as the wind picked up.
“No way, it’s too cold...”
Yuuki had discarded her shawl ages ago, warm with the exertion of the dances and the warmer air in the hall. Now the cool wind raised goose bumps on her bare skin. She released Zero's hand to rub her upper arms, looking at him challengingly.
“So?” she asked. He exhaled and gave up, allowing her to pull him unresisting back into the warmer air of the hall.
As they moved towards the middle of the floor, faces turned to stare, voices whispered surprise – the moody school guardian, Zero Kiriyu, was going to dance?
Zero shrugged off his jacket and dropped it carelessly on a nearby chair as the hall seemed very warm after the cool air outside. He stopped suddenly. “Yuuki… you should be dancing with Kaname…. I... can’t… ”
Yuuki’s head tilted to one side, surveying him, a small frown appearing between her eyes. “I already have - earlier. More than once in fact. You saw us, right?”
Then, as he continued to look at her, she continued “But I haven’t danced with you. Anyway, it was Kaname-sempai who told me where you were…” She continued pulling him towards the middle of the dance floor, completely missing the amazed look on Zero’s face as his gaze swept around the ballroom.
He caught sight of the two tall elegant figures of Kuran Kaname and Ichijo Takuma standing at the entrance of the hall. The pureblood’s gaze was steady on him. Zero returned his look, hesitated, then nodded his head once. Briefly. Kaname inclined his head in return, gracefully. Ichijo’s face was almost comical in his surprise at he witnessed the subtle masculine exchange. Then the pureblood vampire turned and left the hall, followed by Ichijo. Zero stared after them for a moment before Yuuki tugged on his hand, and he only saw her and no one else.
She smiled up at him, then dipped a small curtsey, holding out her skirt.
“May I have this dance, Zero Kiriyu?”
Zero’s lips quirked, he just couldn’t help it. “I would be honoured, Yuuki Cross…” he said, executing a slight and formal bow. The lights dimmed again and the song started. Zero closed his eyes for a moment, willing himself not to wake up if this was merely a dream… Even thought he wasn’t exactly sure about the actual dancing bit…
Yuuki smiled as if she knew what was going through his mind. Her arms reached up and she linked slender fingers at the back of his neck, moving a step closer to him. Zero gulped softly then reached out to encircle her slim waist with his arms. They started swaying to the music and he prayed it would never end, oblivious to the stares around them, conscious only of Yuuki smiling at him as they moved in perfect unison to the music, her eyes shining.
Yuuki sighed happily, she’d fulfilled the promise she made to herself. She’d enjoyed the evening thoroughly but it was only now that she was really able to relax. Somehow, when she was dancing with the others, even with Kaname-sempai, she felt like she was always on guard, playing a role, behaving as expected of her.
But now… she could relax and just be… herself. She wasn’t a human girl Kaname Kuran was protective over, she wasn’t a School Prefect that kept the Day Class girls away from the Night Class elite, she wasn’t someone who might be thought of as prey, she wasn’t someone’s darling daughter, she was just… Yuuki Cross.
She had no need to think of conversation topics, witty remarks or studied laughter, no need to think of how she behaved or looked like. Not with Zero… it was akin to the feeling one got when swapping a tight fitting dress for much worn and loved pyjamas - pure comfort.
Zero closed his eyes. There was no need to wear a mask now, no need to pretend to look bored or annoyed or irritated. The world at the moment consisted of only Yuuki and him. It was the supreme comfort of being with someone who’d seen the best and the worst of him and accepted him just as he was.
Well… he wasn’t quite sure what the best in him was, but he knew what the worst was… and somehow at this moment, it didn’t matter one bit. It was pure comfort that held a tinge of bittersweet ache, of what he wished could be… and Zero inhaled shakily, for a very, very brief second unaccountably close to tears.
The song seemed to end almost before it had begun and the scattered applause and cheers took him by surprise. Couples started to wander off the dance floor in search of drinks or places to sit. Zero blinked, still holding Yuuki, very reluctant to let her go. What a fool he’d been not to seek her out earlier…
He looked down at Yuuki but before he could open his mouth to speak, he noticed her looking over at the music console set up beside the stage by the group hired to provide the evening's entertainment. Catching the attention of the man behind the console, Yuuki made a small gesture with her hand and offered him a winning smile. The man looked startled for a moment, then smiled and nodded in return.
“Well, the dance is ending, ladies and gentlemen…" boomed his voice over the loudspeakers. Zero released Yuuki slowly, reluctantly.
But - I will play two extra songs just to bring this gala evening to a perfect close!" The remaining couples who were still on the floor clapped in appreciation and a few more quickly moved to the floor as well.
Zero swung back to Yuuki, looking as if he couldn't believe his ears. She was smiling happily at him.
“Wow, two extra songs, huh?” she commented casually, just as though she didn’t have a hand in orchestrating it. Stepping close to Zero, she slid her arms around his back and rested her forehead on his right shoulder, the soft cotton of his shirt warm against her skin, his familiar scent surrounding and reassuring her. With her heels lending her height, she could feel the cool metal of Zero’s belt buckle against her stomach.
She just put her arms around me in public. Zero swallowed even as his own arms closed around her, pulling her lightly against him, breathing in her enticingly soft sweet scent as he rested his chin on her hair. I’m in heaven… he thought somewhat dazedly.
A slow love song started. Yearning lyrics sung in an aching voice took on new meaning as they started swaying to the music again. Zero was conscious once again of the faint stirring of his bloodlust but it was controllable and he now realised this was the real reason why Yuuki had cornered him this morning to offer him her blood. Had she wanted to dance with him all this while? Was that why Yori had asked him? Questions swirled in his mind as he continued holding her.
But there were other urges stirring in him now that he was powerless to overcome. Slightly panicked, he stopped suddenly, taking a step back from Yuuki. Automatically, she took a step forward, causing him to take another step back. Yuuki lifted her head and stared at him in surprise, instinctively moving closer. “What’s wrong, Zero?” she asked, frowning a little as he took a third step back, glancing quickly over his shoulder in case they bumped into another couple.
“Ah… we shouldn’t be dancing like this" said Zero.
Yuuki merely looked puzzled. “Why not?” she asked.
“Because…!” Zero closed his eyes, exhaling. He opened his eyes to see her still looking at him. “Because, Yuuki… you’re a girl… and I’m… I’m…” he broke off, wishing he’d never started.
“A guy?” said Yuuki, helpfully.
Zero snorted, unable to stop himself. “Yeah, well, when a guy’s holding a girl this close… this tightly…” he broke off.
Yuuki looked at him in amazement. “Zero, are you… blushing?” she asked, eyes wide with surprise.
He growled at that - he was not blushing. Well, he was but... Grasping her waist suddenly with both hands, he tugged her against him once more, holding her fast, feeling his body stir again with latent desire against her stomach. He heard Yuuki’s gasp of surprise against his shoulder a second later. “Uh… Zero…” she said, her voice muffled “that’s not your… um, Bloody Rose gun… is it?”
He exhaled. “Nope” his voice was grim. So much for wanting to dance with him… after this, Yuuki was never even going to touch him again…
Yuuki shifted slightly in his arms. “Is that…? Why are you…?” Her voice was still muffled against his shirt and he knew she was blushing too.
He sighed and loosened his hold, allowing her to step back. Yuuki was studying the floor or perhaps her shoes, because he couldn’t see her face.
“It’s – it’s what happens when a guy is holding a girl he – he…“ he broke off, confused. Dear God, had he almost confessed his love for her then? “… when a guy is holding a… beautiful girl… in his arms…” he ended lamely.
Yuuki lifted her head, lips parted in surprise, cheeks flushed brightly. Zero was sure his cheeks were on fire as well. Say something, please! he thought desperately, staring at her mutely, holding his breath as he waited for her reply.
Then she blinked. “Oh, it’s a… it’s a… guy thing?” she ventured tentatively, wondering why Zero looked as if he were going to explode with frustration…
Zero choked, then started laughing, despite the mortifying situation in which he was in. He just couldn’t help himself - Yuuki was… priceless!
Everyone turned to stare at Zero Kiriyu, the moody and grumpy school guardian, throwing back his head and roaring with laughter. Even the Chairman stared. The man at the console merely looked confused - obviously he hadn’t thought the romantic songs he’d chosen would have this strange an effect on the young man on the dance floor…
It seemed to take forever but finally, Zero caught hold of himself and stopped laughing with an effort, at the sight of Yuuki, hands on hips, colour high in her cheeks and her large brown eyes flashing murder. He smothered a final chuckle, swiping away tears of mirth from his eyes before pulling her close once more.
Yuuki resisted, her shoulders tense, humiliated at the thought of Zero laughing at her in public and trying very, very hard not to be disarmed at how wonderful his laugh had sounded at the same time. She didn’t think she’d ever heard him laugh before... at least not like this...
Zero bent his head, resting his forehead against hers and breathing in her sweet intoxicating scent. “Sorry, Yuuki… but I’m not laughing at you” he said softly, his voice still slightly unsteady with mirth. She continued to gaze at him mutinously.
“Don’t be angry… please” he coaxed, holding her gaze and smiling at her until she relaxed and smiled back reluctantly. Relieved, he pulled her into his arms again, squeezing tight for a moment before forcing his arms to rest loosely at the small of her back, careful to keep his hips apart from her again. “Yeah, it’s a guy thing, Yuuki…” he bent down to murmur into her ear. “… but only if you don’t mind…”
He held his breath again as he waited for her reply.
Yuuki blinked, her hands against Zero’s chest, feeling the none too steady thump of his heart. Then she sighed, shaking her head slightly before resting her cheek against his shoulder once more. She let her hands slide down his chest and around to his back again, wondering a little at the sudden shiver that passed through him.
“Well… I guess I don’t mind since it’s Zero…” she murmured back then took a step forward, tightening her arms around him to pull him closer and allowing his hips to touch her body once more.
Zero exhaled shakily in relief, closing his eyes and tightening his own arms around her, almost awed with relief that Yuuki didn’t push him away even when his body continued to throb against her.
“Thank you …” he whispered against her hair, wishing the song would never stop so that he could hold her in his arms forever…
A sudden giggle sounded against his shoulder.
He stiffened automatically. “Sorry…” Yuuki whispered quickly. “It just feels so – strange…” She broke off, another giggle escaping her.
Zero stopped dancing completely. He couldn’t believe it - she was actually laughing at this?
Yuuki sobered up when she saw his look. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” she whispered, biting her lip hard and tightening her arms around him. “I won’t laugh anymore, Zero - I promise…” she added quickly.
Zero relaxed warily, wondering if the heat in his face was going to be permanent. It now seemed like she’d seen and known just about everything there was to see and know about him, and he wasn’t exactly sure if the feeling of sheer relief or apprehension was stronger in him at this moment, along with a surge of humble relief that left him almost weak kneed.
Yuuki hid her still hot face in his shirt, wondering why she’d said she didn’t mind when she should. But she didn’t and that was that. Even though it made her suddenly aware that Zero wasn’t just her childhood friend slash adopted brother slash vampire hunter turned vampire… he was also… a male… and already almost… a man…
Lost in their thoughts, they continued to hold each other tight long after the two songs ended.
- o -
Zero linked his fingers with Yuuki’s as they walked out of the hall in silence, his uniform jacket across his other arm. He’d wanted to throw it around her shoulders but she’d assured him she was warm enough with her shawl.
The dance had officially ended, the caterers were packing up all leftover food and their equipment. Staff would be taking down the decorations and removing the tables and chairs the following day. The last few couples wandered out of the hall and back to the dorms. Zero and Yuuki felt most disinclined to bother much about rules tonight as they walked back slowly to the main building.
As they moved through the dining room and down the corridor, they both looked straight ahead, steadfastly ignoring the fact that they were holding hands and feeling unaccountably self-conscious all of a sudden.
Pausing outside Yuuki’s room door, Zero finally turned to look down at her. “Well…” she said, blushing a little under his intent gaze. “Erm… goodnight, Zero…” She started to pull her hand from his but he tightened his grip. She looked down at their clasped hands, then back up at him. “Zero?”
“Yuuki…” his voice was husky. “Can I… kiss you… goodnight?”
Yuuki blinked in surprise – surely he didn’t need to ask anymore? "Well, of course…” she proferred a cheek.
She had never seen Zero's eyes so intense… so focused. The amethyst had darkened to a dark twilight purple now as he gazed down at her and shook his head slowly. “Like this…” he whispered. A long fingered hand tilted her chin up to face him. He paused for a moment, then, as Yuuki continued staring at him, her breathing suddenly shallow, he dipped his head, tilting it a little to the side and placed his lips gently on hers, closing his eyes as a cherished fantasy finally turned to reality.
Yuuki’s eyes fluttered shut. Zero’s lips were soft and gentle on hers and she felt no alarm, only surprise and wonder. Then he drew back, an almost tentative look in his eyes.
Yuuki touched her lips wonderingly with trembling fingertips. “Zero… that was…” she whispered.
“What…?” he whispered back, heart thumping painfully in his chest, not breathing as he waited for her reply.
“…sweet…” she whispered back, eyes wide with surprise.
Zero exhaled in relief. Dropping his jacket, he bent forward and rested his hands on her shoulders, touching his lips again to hers, kissing her very lightly and making them both gasp at the feather light contact that felt almost too much to bear. Both their lips were parted but he made no attempt to enter her mouth, deliberately keeping the kiss innocent and chaste. Yuuki moaned softly against his mouth, reaching up a hand to cup it around the back of his neck, tangling in the silky silver strands as she pulled his head closer, unable to bear the almost intangible contact anymore.
He snaked an arm around her waist, drawing her slender form closer to him, moulding her to his body as he kissed her again… and again… and again… his mind spinning with desire and the soft sweet scent of her, the soft desirable form against him.
Yuuki found herself being released suddenly and she opened dazed eyes as warm fingers grasped her upper arms, holding her steady. “What...” she murmured, blinking.
“Shhh...” warned Zero softly, jerking his head at the end of the corridor where footsteps could be heard. Almost automatically, they each took a step backward, Zero bending down quickly to retrieve his fallen jacket and straightening up as the Chairman came into view.
“Ahh... going to bed now?” beamed the Chairman. He rubbed his hands gleefully. “A most successful dance, I must say... Everybody enjoyed themselves, the food was good, the music excellent... and Yuuki, my dear, you really looked beautiful tonight!” He smiled fondly at Yuuki and she smiled back at him, rather tremulously, cheeks still warm with colour.
“Well” continued the older man as he clapped a hand onto Zero’s shoulder. “You had fun too, right? At least you danced once, thanks to Yuuki...” He started towards his own room on the other side of the building, calling “Goodnight” over his shoulder.
Zero and Yuuki were both silent for a moment, listening to the Chairman’s footsteps dying away. Then, they glanced tentatively at each other, speaking at the same time.
“Are you...”
“Why did...”
They stopped awkwardly. Zero nodded at Yuuki silently, telling her to go first, his eyes falling again to her lips that looked pink and moist and just a little bit swollen from his kisses.
Yuuki looked at him, tilting her head to one side. “Why did you kiss me, Zero?” she asked softly. Her eyes were huge and he stared at her, not knowing what to say, wanting to drown in those eyes forever.
Then he cleared his throat. “I... I just felt like it...” he mumbled, knowing he was a spineless coward for not saying the words he really wanted to. As she continued to stare at him, he scowled. “Don’t worry, it won’t happen again…!” Swinging around, he started off towards his room.
“Wait!” Yuuki took a step forward and caught at his hand. He stopped but didn’t look at her. “I’m not mad, Zero” she said softly. He kept still.
Yuuki tugged on his hand. “Zero? Look at me…” she said.
Silently, he turned and looked down at her, as though unsure whether to believe her or not.
Yuuki paused, conscious of a pang in her chest to see Zero looking so vulnerable. “That was my first kiss, you know...” she confessed softly.
Zero drew in a shaky breath. “Yeah, mine too” he admitted. A long moment passed as they stared at each other, Yuuki’s eyes filling with tears she couldn’t have explained if she'd tried. They didn’t know who moved first but Zero uttered a sound like a strangled laugh and she was suddenly in his arms again. They were both trembling slightly. “It was… nice... wasn’t it?” murmured Yuuki softly against his shoulder, cheeks flaming once more. Zero smiled and buried his head in her hair, inhaling deeply before he answered “It was damn good, Yuuki..."
Yuuki tightened her arms around him and he held her for a long moment, longing to spend the night holding her close to him. Reluctantly, he sighed and released her. “It’s late and you’re tired, Yuuki. You’d better get changed and sleep...” She started to shake her head but yawned suddenly and had to abandon any hope of denying his statement. He smiled down at her, brushing a kiss across her forehead before opening her room door and pushing her gently in.
“Goodnight, Zero...” she turned to smile at him somewhat shyly, still remembering the kiss.
“Good night, Yuuki” he said softly, holding her gaze for a moment longer before turning and walking back to his room… before he embarrassed himself by asking her if he could sleep in her bed tonight.
Yuuki closed her room door and sagged against it, trembling hands clasped to burning cheeks. Her first kiss... and it was with Zero Kiriyu. How unexpected… and how… gentle... and sweet it was...
Zero closed his own room door and walked slowly to his desk at the window, staring unseeingly out of it. His first kiss, and with Yuuki… He closed his eyes, relieving every second of the first kiss and each succeeding one. She’d liked it, he knew she did… but – and his hands clenched hard on the back of the desk chair - what she thought about it tomorrow was anyone’s guess… or even if she thought about it at all…
Neither of them slept much that night.
-- To Be Continued --
BiJooMin