PB_8types_pt1.pdf

Cold Reads For The

part 1 f 8

Types

of the Pandora’s Ph.D.

Strategy Series

Women

Advanced

Written by

Brian Burke

iii

introduction

? Plain and simple, it is a tool to get a result. In this

case, it is a conversational tool to get an emotional result in the person you

are “reading.”

“cold

read

”

A cold read is one of the most powerful conversational tools you can use,

in any situation – professional, romantic, or purely social. Basically a

read is an observation about someone that makes him or her feel as if you

understand them on a very deep level. Because a read is merely a statement,

but has such a powerful emotional impact, it is extremely efficient. It is the

efficiency of this conversational tool that gives you profound leverage when

dealing with others. There is nothing more effective than an accurate cold

read when influencing another people’s emotions.

Why does an observation about someone create such a profound emotional

effect? Let’s start with the term “cold.” It is called a “cold” read because you

are telling the other person something about themselves they have not told

you explicitly. You are observing something about them that is not easily

observable, and may in fact be completely undetectable by other people –

even people who have known that person for years.

(Remember - the egotistical self-centeredness of 99% of human beings makes

your job very easy when it comes to cold reading someone effectively.)

The best cold read is when you tell someone something about themselves that

they were previously unaware of when they realize your read is accurate.

What is a

If you can help a woman learn about herself, you are showing her

something new, as women are socialized (and genetically inclined) to

focus on others and figure out how everyone else “ticks.”

The first reason to use cold reads is that they create the perception, in your

subject, that you are an authority. This makes you influential. Influence is

power, in any relationship.

Another reason to use cold reads is that they create in your subject, the

perception that you understand them on a much deeper level than anyone

else. This makes your subject very comfortable with you, because they feel

like you understand them.

Automatically this leads to a sense of chemistry – the elusive and indefinable

quality of a great relationship. When two people “get” each other, they feel

that click that is chemistry. Women already desire this click with everyone

they meet, and when you convey that you understand her, she will desire

that click so much that she will convince herself that the two of you “get”

each other.

Lastly, and most practically, a cold read creates the opportunity to escalate,

out of thin air . Universally, women want to think that you like them for

their personalities – this is what attracts (or repels) them to men and this is

their evolved strategy for keeping their sexual partners around

(Remember, personality lasts a lifetime, while her body, i.e. sex, lasts a

matter of minutes – until the man orgasms).

When you Cold Read a woman, you create a reason, based on her

personality, to escalate physically. This must always be the interpersonal

dynamic with women you are pursuing sexually.

There are two ways to read someone. Obviously, telling them

something about themselves is the primary method. We’ll call this a

Direct Cold Read

There is a more subtle way to read someone, where you talk about

yourself in a way that you know your subject will immediately

relate to. This is like “pacing” in NLP terms, but much more natural

conversationally. We’ll call this method an

Indirect Cold Read

they will resist. But when you fractionate your own idiosyncrasies and

vulnerabilities with your observations about her, she feels as if you are

just “talking.”

too much

is used heavily in the Time/Mate Optimization

Axis. This is because the first Axis is most subject to her conscious

awareness, and most likely to change over time. Therefore, the more you

try to directly shape her at this level, the more likely she is to resist.

Indirect

• Direct Read

: “You are ____.” You tell her what you already know about

her.

: “I am ____.” You pace her worldview by talking about

yourself, prompting her to think or say “Me too! This guy must

understand me because we are the same.”

W hat are different ways to Read someone?

An organic, conversational, natural-sounding read incorporates both

elements. When you try to tell someone about themselves

You’ll notice that

• Indirect Read

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