{1}{99}>> 23.976 fps <<|>> www.napisy.jcom.pl << {1839}{1918}We are gathered here today|to immortalise in song {1918}{2002}the life and untimely death|of a great legend. {2002}{2062}- Rango.|- So sit back, relax, {2062}{2158}and enjoy your low-calorie popcorn|and assorted confections {2158}{2273}while we tell you the strange|and bewildering tale of a hero {2273}{2405}who has yet to enter his own story. {2709}{2805}Crunchy, creamy, cookie,|candy, cupcake. {2805}{2892}Okay, everybody,|let's take it from the top. {2892}{2975}The stage is set,|the night moist with apprehension. {2975}{3088}Alone in her chamber, the princess|prepares to take her own life. {3088}{3184}"It is far better to nourish worms|than to live without love." {3184}{3232}She reaches for the poisoned chalice. {3232}{3325}Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio|plots his ascension to the throne {3325}{3385}while her ageing father|lies gravely ill. {3385}{3467}"Yes, I am gravely ill." {3467}{3522}"Hark, who goes there?" {3522}{3582}'Tis I, the much-anticipated hero, {3582}{3649}returning to rescue|his emotionally unstable maiden! {3649}{3699}Unhand her, you jailers of virtue, {3699}{3793}or taste the bitter sting|of my vengeance! {3793}{3884}The sting of my... {3903}{3937}Dr Marx? {3937}{4002}Dr Marx,|I'm not getting anything from you. {4002}{4097}People, we've talked about this.|Acting is reacting. {4097}{4162}Victor, you were wooden!|There, I said it. {4162}{4239}Mr Timms? You were good. {4239}{4294}Perhaps a little too good. {4294}{4388}What's that, Victor? My character's|undefined? That's absurd. {4388}{4510}I know who I am.|I'm the guy, the protagonist, the hero. {4510}{4606}Every story needs a hero.|I mean, who else is better qualified {4606}{4778}to bask in the adulation|of his numerous companions? {5150}{5205}The stage is waiting. {5205}{5325}The audience thirsts for adventure. {5325}{5385}Who am I? {5385}{5433}I could be anyone. {5433}{5543}I could be the sea cap'n|returning from a mighty voyage {5543}{5634}to reclaim his mechanical arm! {5634}{5735}Or I could be the rogue anthropologist,|battling pythons down in the Congo! {5735}{5795}Down, Chongo, down! {5795}{5881}And if you desire romance, {5881}{6068}I will become the greatest lover|the world has ever known! {6123}{6227}I couldn't help but notice you|noticing me noticing you. {6227}{6318}You know, the womens find me|uncomfortably good looking. {6318}{6387}But you seem remarkably at ease. {6387}{6435}Stop it. No, really. {6435}{6495}Well, if you must. What are you doing? {6495}{6569}That tickles. Are those real? {6569}{6622}That's it! Conflict. {6622}{6704}Victor, you were right.|I have been undefined. {6704}{6814}People, I've had an epiphany.|The hero cannot exist in a vacuum! {6814}{6888}What our story needs is an ironic,|unexpected event {6888}{7032}that will propel the hero into conflict! {8310}{8380}Mr Timms? {9348}{9430}That's right! You! {9430}{9487}Don't be shy. Come on. {9487}{9533}It's okay. {9533}{9617}That's it, a little closer. {9617}{9658}Good. {9658}{9746}I won't bite you. {9753}{9813}I need a little help here. {9813}{9859}Are you okay? {9859}{9921}I must get to the other side. {9921}{9988}The other side? You mean, just now,|that was you crossing the road? {9988}{10048}That's why the... {10048}{10080}Why'd you do that? {10080}{10156}This is my quest. He waits for me. {10156}{10192}What? Who? {10192}{10281}The Spirit of the West, amigo. The one. {10281}{10386}They say he rides an alabaster carriage|with golden guardians to protect him. {10386}{10432}What are you talking about? {10432}{10525}Enlightenment.|We are nothing without it. {10525}{10605}Nothing? Your delusional quest|just ruined my life! {10605}{10665}I had an incredibly complex|social network going! {10665}{10756}Highly sophisticated friends!|I was very popular! {10756}{10852}Friends? I don't see no friends. {10852}{10916}You are a very lonely lizard. {10916}{11000}Look, I need water, hydration.|My teeth are chapped. {11000}{11053}I need lotion.|I'm down to one layer of skin already. {11053}{11098}Pretty soon,|I'm going to start seeing my insides. {11098}{11163}Not unlike what you've got going there. {11163}{11209}Listen, I can't survive|in the desert, okay? {11209}{11259}I... I don't belong here. {11259}{11365}That may be true, but here you are. {11365}{11470}Now help me up|and I will help you find what you seek. {11470}{11532}- You will?|- And perhaps more. {11532}{11590}Quickly. I must get back to my quest. {11590}{11688}- You mean you've done this before?|- Yes. Many times. {11688}{11760}Come, come. That's it, pull my finger. {11760}{11818}The Spirit is waiting for me. {11818}{11892}Okay, okay. {11983}{12038}Okay. That's not going to work. {12038}{12089}I must get to the other side. {12089}{12175}Why don't you just wait|until there are no cars coming? {12175}{12216}It's not so easy as it looks. {12216}{12247}What? {12247}{12328}Is a metaphor. {13009}{13081}There's another one! {13081}{13153}I knew it. {13386}{13431}You need a little help, amigo? {13431}{13506}I think the metaphor broke my spleen. {13506}{13570}The path to knowledge|is fraught with consequence. {13570}{13640}I'm just looking for the path to water. {13640}{13781}If you want to find water,|you must first find Dirt. {13781}{13832}Dirt. {13832}{13894}Destiny, she is kind to you. {13894}{13988}Tomorrow is Wednesday.|The water comes. {13988}{14103}At noon, the townspeople gather|for a mysterious ritual. {14103}{14194}A town? You mean, with real people|and everything? Where? {14194}{14304}A day's journey. Follow your shadow. {14304}{14390}You want me to just walk out|into the desert? {14390}{14419}That's the way. {14419}{14479}Okay. So you're saying {14479}{14565}there's a town, a real town,|not a metaphor town. {14565}{14613}Go on. It's okay. {14613}{14659}Okay. {14659}{14707}Well, then, I'm going. {14707}{14788}I am leaving the road now! {14788}{14875}I'm walking into the desert! {14875}{14906}Alone! {14906}{14983}We all have ourjourneys to make! {14983}{15110}I will see you on the other side. {15385}{15462}Welcome, amigo {15462}{15546}To the land without end {15546}{15613}The desert and death {15613}{15709}Are the closest of friends {15709}{15781}We sing of his courage {15781}{15863}In magnificent song {15863}{15932}But pay close attention {15932}{16030}He won't be here long {16105}{16181}As the birds pluck his eyes|The sun bleaches his bones {16181}{16366}See his entrails get scattered|Watch him lose his cojones {16462}{16519}Here in the Mojave Desert, {16519}{16647}animals have had millions of years|to adapt to the harsh environment. {16647}{16742}But the lizard? He is going to die. {16742}{16817}"Four score and seven years ago,|our fathers..." {16817}{16915}- Don't move.|- What? {17011}{17059}- Don't move!|- Not moving. {17059}{17085}Not moving. {17085}{17140}Try to blend in. {17140}{17253}Blend in? What do you mean? {17270}{17301}Blend in. {17301}{17387}What are you saying? {17387}{17426}- Too late.|- No, no. It's not too late! {17426}{17486}I'm blending! I'm a blender! {17486}{17608}Hey, calm down! What are you doing? {17608}{17654}Stop moving! {17654}{17769}Try not to look conspicuous. {17927}{17963}- What are you doing?|- I'm blending. {17963}{18008}- Go blend somewhere else.|- Don't distract me. {18008}{18054}- No room at the inn.|- It's an art, not a science. {18054}{18116}- Find your own hiding place.|- No, this is good. {18116}{18169}Here she comes! You better run, Mojito! {18169}{18394}- What? I thought you said, "Don't move."|- That was before. Now, you run. {19397}{19461}Oh, hey. Proboscis. {19461}{19524}Testy. {19797}{19926}Please, no, please. I have vertigo!|My glands are swelling! {19926}{20001}Please, no. {20154}{20243}You! I'll kill you! You stupid lizard! {20243}{20291}Get out of there.|I'm going to strangle your huevos! {20291}{20356}Big bird! Big bird! {20356}{20423}No, wait! Come back! I was just kidding! {20423}{20471}- Come on, we're friends, right?|- I don't know you! {20471}{20514}- Lizards, frogs...|- Find your own hiding place! {20514}{20557}- We're practically related!|- No room at the inn! {20557}{20593}- Come on, move over!|- You're not my friend! {20593}{20708}I'll let you kiss my sister! {20859}{20943}You son of a... {22216}{22346}Where are your friends now, amigo? {22974}{23065}Get your slimy-webbed phalanges|off my boots! {23065}{23094}Sorry. {23094}{23173}I got a bead on you, stranger.|So you get up real slow {23173}{23209}lessen you want to spend the better part {23209}{23257}of the afternoon|putting your face back together! {23257}{23324}- No, ma'am, I don't.|- Who are you? {23324}{23381}- Who am I?|- I'm asking the questions here! {23381}{23444}Our town is drying up.|We're in the middle of a drought. {23444}{23487}Now someone's dumping water|in the desert! {23487}{23540}It's a puzzle of undeterminable size|and dimension, {23540}{23612}but I intend to find out|what role you playing in all this. {23612}{23681}- Role?|- What are you involved in? {23681}{23739}Well, I'm glad you asked. {23739}{23815}I've got two one-acts, a mystery|and a musical I've been gestating. {23815}{23942}I got the words, I'm just working on|the melody right now. It's like a... {23942}{23974}I think it's gonna be a western. {23974}{24038}A monkey got a cracker|His mother was a slapper {24038}{24156}She'll be coming 'round the mountain|in the rain {24156}{24254}You ain't from around here, are you? {24254}{24345}I'm still working on it. {24345}{24393}So, what's your name? {24393}{24441}- Beans.|- That's a funny kind of name. {24441}{24513}What can I say?|My daddy plumb loved baked bea...
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