Greeting the Other Than Conscious (C1)

1.      When you first meet someone, pay careful attention to his or her behaviors.

2.      When they see you, they will exhibit at least one idiosyncratic behavior:

a.      Head tilt

b.      Change of posture

c.       Speed of speech

d.      Voice volume

e.       Eyebrow lift

3.      Respond in kind to what the person does exactly.  Feed back their response as well as possible.  While practicing, precision is not necessary.  You will get better at it.

4.      Observe the person’s reaction.  If you notice a response, (smile, eyebrow raise, etc.) respond in kind once again.

5.      You have now established a high level of rapport.

6.      Advanced, once you have completed step 4, look at the person’s left ear to anchor the communication.

Calibrating Yes-No (C2)

1.      After establishing rapport, ask a few “yes” “no” questions.  “Were you born in ______?”  “Do people call you _________?”   “Do you have children?”  “Have you been here before?”

2.      Pay attention to the signals that they give your for “yes” and “no”.

3.      Be certain not to corrupt the communication.  You need to put yourself in neutral.  Meaning you must be entirely impassive.

4.      Determine two or three indicators for a yes and a no.  Pay attention to upward tone of voice for a yes and a downward tone for no.  Look beyond the obvious head shakes to narrowing or widening of the eyes.

5.      Lift your right finger for yes and your left finger for no.  Anchor their responses into you.

6.      Feed back everything but the verbal response to them.

7.      Suppressing your own responses is the hardest part of this communication.

Criteria Elicitation (C3)

1.      Ask what is important to you about ___________ (stopping smoking, weight loss, changing this habit).

2.      Acknowledge what they have said.

3.      Now, so that I can understand you better, what’s important to you about that?

4.      Note whether the answer is towards or away (their meta-program).

5.      This is what you are going to sell to the person.  This is the key to the sale.