Tapping.ang.pdf

How Tapping Works

Before you read this, realise that you don't need to know precisely how Tapping works. If you try it,

and watch your body and mind carefully to see what happens, you will realise that it does.

You just have a set of beliefs that say you need to fully understand something before you can use it!

So you could try tapping those beliefs, because they probably hold you back in other areas.

You will still be left with unanswered questions after reading this explanation. My suggestion is

that you experiment with Tapping and find your own answers. You don't really know how

electricity works - no-one really does! But you still switch on a light, and you still cook your dinner

with it. It's really true, even the most knowledgeable scientists don't know precisely how electricity

works.

A Belief is a Thought that we are Emotionally Attached to

If I tell you that above my bed I have a painting of a tree, your mind will accept that information. If

I then tell you actually it's not a painting of a tree, it's a painting of a boat, your mind will accept

that information too. A thought is like that - easy to change. You receive new information and your

mind accepts it.

If however, you touch a hot stove and feel pain, your mind will receive the programming that stoves

are not safe to touch. If someone tells you that the glowing red stove is safe to touch, you will not

accept what they are telling you. The difference is the emotion of physical pain, which is attached to

the information.

This is the difference between a thought and a belief. An emotion becomes attached to the thought,

as a signal to the mind that the thought is necessary for survival, and as a result the thought can not

be easily changed.

Tapping removes Negative Beliefs. In fact, there is no difference as far as the body is concerned

between a Negative and a "Positive" Belief. A Negative belief is just one that you have judged is

unhelpful to your wellbeing, and a Positive one is a belief you have judged to be helpful.

In fact, we don't need the thought "Hot Stoves Give Pain" to be a belief in order to follow it.

Thoughts that are not beliefs fit into our Understanding of the world and we live our life through

them. In fact, when that becomes a strong belief we start to behave irrationally. For example

someone might be burned by a stove as a child and when they are older still be very afraid of

lighting a gas hob. There's no rational reason for them to be afraid of that, but it affects their life in a

negative way - a positive belief becomes a negative one.

Bad Emotions are imbalances in the Nervous System

Good emotions occur when nervous energy can roam freely in the body. Bad emotions occur when

nervous energy gets stuck. You can picture it as a standing wave of energy formed in one of the

nerve channels in the body.

This is why we feel different emotions in different parts of our body. Sometimes we feel nervous in

our stomachs, stress in our shoulders, fear in our hands, etc. Energy is trapped in nerve channels

that run through those parts of the body.

Sometimes we tap on a feeling, and sometimes on an actual belief. In fact there is no difference.

The emotion that is attached to a particular belief might be very strong, so we don't even notice the

belief, just the feeling. It might be very weak so we don't even notice that there is a feeling attached

to the words. But the feeling is there, otherwise we would not hold the belief.

Tapping Balances the Nervous System

When we tap, we say the belief out loud to bring up the corresponding emotion in the nervous

system. Then we tap the various points to reset the system. Each point is the end of a nerve channel

in the body. Tapping sends a shockwave down that channel.

There is no easy way to know which nerve channel is holding a particular emotion, so we just tap

them all. Sometimes when you have done a lot of tapping you'll be able to just feel where it is, and

you'll feel it clear as you tap it.

When the emotion is gone, your mind is no longer attached to the belief. Suddenly your mind is free

to re-process it, and realise it isn't true or that there are easy ways around it.

Why You Must First Love Yourself

Everyone has heard that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you. The reason for

this is simple - our ideal partner is a reflection of us.

We attract people that are like us. Not just in terms of romantic, sexual/physical attraction. We

attract them metaphysically - these people tend to turn up in our lives.

Each of us has a unique belief system, a way of seeing the world that is slightly different to

everyone else's. It's almost like our ego has a fingerprint. What turns us on, what turns us off. What

we feel is important.

Our political preferences, tastes in food and music, and so on, all arise out of this belief system. Our

particular thoughts and feelings resonate with different aspects of the world around us. If your

thoughts are dark, you like heavy metal. If your thoughts are happy, you like cheesey music. We

like certain foods, like for example, coffee, because of the way they make us feel.

The types of people that come into our lives are affected by our beliefs. We meet people who have

made the same sorts of choices we make. Where to live, which bar to go to, which supermarket to

shop at. All these choices reflect our values and our way of being from day to day, minute to

minute.

When you enter a seminar or lecture theatre, where do you sit? On the front row where you can ask

questions or the back where you can fall asleep without being noticed? Our personality is reflected

in the places we turn up... and so we end up being surrounded by people who are the same way.

Romantic compatibility has a lot to do with this. Why do we always ask our love interest what sort

of music they like? We want to know they are on our wavelength. We want to know they are drawn

to the same emotional experience, so we can trust that they will understand us.

It seems like this is easily faked. All you have to do is listen to someone talk passionately and agree

with them. Find something from your own experience that is similar emotionally and share it. But

this can be hard work. It's much easier if your passions really are similar emotionally. That way,

things just happen.

The problem comes when you are romantically attracted to people who are not on your wavelength.

This means, people who are not right for you, but who have something that you respect, or admire,

or just desire. You want to be with the other person to feel good about yourself, to fill some hole

inside you or to change what other people think about you. These relationships are doomed to

failure from the start, because of the amount of energy it takes to maintain them.

Do you like yourself? Would you be attracted to someone who was the opposite sex version of you?

Are the people you are attracted to your mirror in terms of life philosophy, success, social

hierarchy?

The right person for you has similar political and religious views. Their life philosophy, work ethic,

wit matches yours perfectly. There are certain adjustments to make across the genders, for example

power in men roughly equates to looks in women. But the stress in the relationship is directly

proportional to your differences. A certain amount of stress is healthy and keeps things interesting,

but only up to a certain breaking point.

When you think of the men or women who naturally come into your life, the ones who have the

same interests and world view as you, are you attracted to them? The girls or guys who you know

you could get, and just be with, just by turning round and saying you wanted them, are they the sort

of person you want? Are they the sort of person you want to be? If you're honest with yourself,

you'll probably realise that the things you don't like about them are the things you don't like about

yourself. So you reject that person and look for the qualities you want to see in yourself, in someone

else.

If you like yourself, you will like the people you naturally meet, and they will like you. If you don't

like yourself, you will waste energy trying to get with people who aren't like you, or you will settle

for being with someone you don't like.

There are two solutions to this. The first, and most important, is to learn to like yourself. The

second, is to turn yourself into the person that you want to be.

If you want to like yourself, one way to do it is to realise that you are the perfect You that anyone

could be. No-one else can do the things you do quite like you. No-one sees the world quite the same

way. No-one has precisely your talents, ambitions, or lack thereof. No-one screws things up the

same way, no-one makes the same mistakes and faux pas'. At being you, for all your faults and

weaknesses, you would get an A+. It's ok to be the way you are - it must be, because the way you

are IS the way you are.

Once you adopt this philosophy or one like it with regard to yourself, you will start seeing others

the same way. The truth is, you probably are attracted to the opposite sex equivalent of you, it's just

you're also turned off to them, for the same reasons you're turned off from yourself. Accept

yourself, and you will accept them.

Many people think that their drive to improve themselves stems from the things they don't like

about themselves. Feelings of inadequacy, dissatisfaction, or just dislike and hatred for yourself

actually won't change, no matter how much you improve yourself. It is the feeling that needs to be

dealt with, not whichever reason you rationalise at the time for feeling it.

It's actually easier to change and improve yourself once you accept yourself. The same negative

feelings of self-non-acceptance lock us in to being those things that we want to change. Change the

feeling first, and the specific details will sort themselves out.

Look at the sort of person you want to get together with. You can become the sort of person who

they would want to be with, assuming that you're not already. If the person they want to be with, is

the sort of person that you don't like, then you'll have to let go of those feelings, because those

feelings keep you from being like them.

Take the school computer nerd, who wants to get with the cheerleader. But the cheerleader likes the

football players. She's physically active, she parties a lot, and is confident in herself. So she looks

for guys who are physically active, party a lot, and are confident in themselves. It makes no sense

that she would want to be with a guy who locks himself in his bedroom, is anti-social, and can't

look her in the eye when he speaks.

So to get the girl, the nerd must become the football player. He can still play to his strengths with

computers, and he needn't play football. But he needs to adopt their way of being in terms of inward

qualities. If he is truly attracted to the cheerleader, then he wants those qualities for himself anyway,

and he dislikes the contradicting qualities he already possesses.

The nerd that truly doesn't want to become the football player doesn't truly want the cheerleader. He

wants the bookish girl who is already on his wavelength. Either way, the solution is rooted in self-

acceptance. If he accepts himself, he will accept the bookish girl. If once he accepts himself, he

finds that he wants to become a footballer, he can have the cheerleader too.

Once you accept yourself you will realise your true motives for wanting someone you can't have. If

you want to be with them to compensate for your own shortcomings, you will no longer want them.

If you want them because you want to be like their ideal partner, then you will become that person.

So there is never a need to change yourself for someone else.

Accept yourself, and you will like the potential partners you can get.

Improve yourself, and you will get the partner you want.

Ending Procrastination

The only reason you procrastinate is that a part of you doesn't want to do whatever it is you are

procrastinating. Tapping is one way to permanently kill that part.

People often say they need more motivation to achieve their goals, and this is true to an extent.

However I would argue that if you want more motivation to do something, then you already want to

do it, and that should be all the motivation you need. What you really need is to remove the

psychological barriers to doing it.

As a student I always used to procrastinate my essays. They felt like really hard work, I didn't think

they'd be good enough, and I always had other things I wanted to do. So I'd leave them until the last

minute, when I knew I'd get in trouble if I didn't do them. The fear of getting in trouble gave me the

extra motivation.

That's what people say when they need they want more motivation, they think they need to fear not

doing something more than they fear doing it.

Tapping is a way to remove the negative feelings around doing something in the first place. When I

work with students now on procrastination, we find all their negative beliefs around doing their

assignments, and tap those beliefs away.

What happens is that when you think about doing your task, your negative self-talk starts up. I'd be

sitting at my desk with a blank sheet of paper in front of me, and I'd start thinking all sorts of

limiting thoughts; "I don't know how to start", "I'll never get this done", "I don't understand the

topic", "all my friends are elsewhere having fun".

It's not comfortable to think those thoughts. So to distract yourself from the uncomfortable feelings,

you distract yourself from their source, and go off and do something else instead. But of course the

work itself isn't really the source of the feelings, the feelings just arise from your own mind thinking

the wrong thing.

With Tapping, you can literally find those negative thoughts one-by-one, and release the negative

feeling that you associate with them. That way you probably won't think them again, and if you do,

they won't have the same emotional impact, so you'll dismiss them easily.

•

Try Tapping RIGHT NOW - I've created a video Killing Procrastination that takes you

through the basic steps. To get the most obvious change, apply it to something you really

don't want to do. You might not instantly feel like you are eager to do it, but you should at

least find it a little easier. If you are new to Tapping, the process might seem a bit strange -

you might want to watch the introductory video on the front page of the site first.

•

Check out my E-Book - For a fuller understanding of how your limiting beliefs stop you

achieving your goals, take a look at my e-book . It includes clear instructions on how to find

the negative beliefs that stop you achieving any goal you like.

It's amazing how well this technique works. I used to hate tidying my room and doing the washing

up, for example. When I tapped away all the negativity around doing those things I actually started

to enjoy them!

When I tried this technique with my friend, we tapped away all the negative feelings and beliefs that

were stopping him do his taxes. When we had tapped them all and he couldn't think of any more, I

asked him if there was anything else he wanted to work on... and he said no, he'd rather go and do

his taxes.

It takes persistence, but the way you are with one thing is the way you are with all things. I found

that by tapping away the feelings and beliefs that made me procrastinate doing the washing up,

tidying my room, and my taxes, I pretty much tapped away the feelings that made me procrastinate

doing anything .

I hope you'll have the same result.

The Key to Self-Acceptance

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