interviews.pdf

@BHYFJ]YK

Carlisle

1. What was your ultimate goal in life?

To survive and someday, somehow, save my family from

the life of organized crime that I'd drawn them into.

Whether or not I succeeded at the latter is debatable. I did

the best that I could.

2. What could anyone have done to make you

happy?

Give me my wife back. Outside of that, there wasn't much anyone could do for me,

personally.

3. Did you ever experience happiness after Elizabeth's death?

I had brief moments of happiness, but it always felt like there was a void in my life after she

was taken from me. Her absence always lingered in the back of my mind, her memory

haunting me like a ghost everywhere I turned. I think it's hard to experience true happiness

when you aren't whole, and a part of me disappeared the day that she died.

But as I said, there were moments, and it mostly revolved around my pride for my sons.

Watching Jasper and Emmett graduate high school was one of those moments, and seeing

Edward's small successes always made me feel that way. I don't know if you could count this,

because I wasn't happy about the aftermath of it at all, but I had never been prouder of

Edward than I was when he selflessly gave Isabella a chance to be free. It was startling how

mature he'd become, and my heart broke for both of their pain, but the pride I felt over his

willingness to sacrifice was unmatched. He is definitely his mother's child.

4. If you had been given the opportunity, would you have tried to cultivate a

closer relationship with Isabella after she admitted she forgave you?

It's a nice idea and in theory it would have been great, but it just wasn't in the cards for us. By

the time we'd reached the point where I finally understood none of it had been her fault and

she'd come to a place where she could forgive me for the harm I caused her, there simply

wasn't enough time to work on a relationship between us. I knew logically things were

collapsing in my world, and inviting her further into it just didn't make sense.

5. Can you explain the extent of the injuries that Isabella suffered during

the two weeks she was taken? Where were you able to get the supplies to

treat her without taking her to a hospital?

I did what I had to do. La Cosa Nostra has connections, doctors and lawyers and politicians in

our pockets, so getting what was necessary wasn't an issue. Besides, with enough money, a

person can purchase anything. I think that's pretty obvious, considering even human lives are

placed on the auction block. But I called in some favors and got the necessary supplies, and

given my medical training it wasn't that difficult to monitor her. I kept her in a medically

induced coma to make healing easier and slowly weaned her off of the drugs to try to help

her from going through a difficult withdrawal period. The human body is quite resilient. Her

physical injuries were fairly simple to deal with and healed easily once I had her safe, so I just

monitored her and kept her hydrated and nourished while her body did its thing.

6. Why were you keeping the house temperature so warm when you first

brought Isabella home?

I thought Isabella would be more comfortable with it warmer, having spent her entire life

living outside in the extreme heat.

7. Why didn't you succeed your father as Boss instead of Aro?

Because that's not the way it works. It's based just as much on power and superiority as it is

on who's in your blood family. That's always a plus, but you have to have the right credentials

on top of it and you have to truly want it. I was still fairly new to it all at the time of his death

and there were plenty of men above me to move up in rank, and on top of that I wasn't

exactly big within the organization. I didn't enjoy it or take certain initiatives like others did, so I

didn't stand out nor was I really feared back then. To be feared by criminals, you have to

appear cold and calculating, and that just wasn't me. Aro was my father's Underboss, so he

was promoted, so-to-speak.

8. Can you tell me about the woman you were with when you visited Chicago

that time?

She's not really that important, honestly. Her father used to be a Capo within the organization

when my father was; they became friends so the two of us grew up together. She

understood my world, she knew my wife, and she had no expectations of me, just as I had

none of her. She married a man who initiated, and he lost his life to the violence of the

Borgata. We just understood each other.

9. How did you feel about Elizabeth's attack and intimacy with her following

it? What was your experience like?

I was horrified by what happened and ashamed that my family was involved in the type of

lifestyle that essentially condoned that type of behavior. Her emotional wounds were deeper

than the physical ones and it was difficult seeing her in pain, loving her as I did. It was then

that I was resolved that I would do anything it took in order to save her, would kill anyone I

had to in order to spare her from ever being hurt like that again. Intimacy afterward was

difficult, she didn't want to be touched for a long time and I didn't blame her for it. It took

time before she finally started coming back around to where she felt comfortable in her own

skin. Every time she flinched from contact or cringed when someone came near her, or I saw

her cry, my anger and pain at the world that hurt her deepened. I carried that with me

forever, the resentment only growing after her death.

10. Do you wish Elizabeth had never met Isabella, even if it meant that she

would've likely be sold into the sex trade?

Everything that happened was meant to be. I would've never wished a worse life on Isabella,

but my priority had always been to my family. Elizabeth and my children were the most

important things to me, and as long as they were safe I didn't care what happened to anyone

else. But I see now that it doesn't matter what idealistic selfish views I had, my wife had other

ideas. Isabella had been worth the sacrifice to my wife, so now that all is said and done, I

respect that. Elizabeth would be ashamed of me for turning my back on a helpless child...

that's not the man she married.

11. If you had ever tried to punish Bella again, what do you think Edward

would have done? I recall he once threatened to kill you if you ever hurt her

again. Do you think he really would have tried to? And what would you

have done if he did?

It would have never happened again, because it shouldn't have happened the first time.

There is nothing she would've ever done to deserve that type of punishment and had I been

in my right mind, I would've seen that at the time. As far as Edward goes, however, I didn't

doubt him at all. Had I ever tried to harm her again, he would've probably tried to kill me. He

proved that he isn't above violence when he feels disrespected, given what happened with

Jacob, and the one time he felt I disrespected Isabella to his face he punched me. Beyond

that, though, I know he would've tried to kill me because he is my son, and had I been in his

shoes, I would've killed also. Actually, I guess I was in his shoes, and I did kill for Elizabeth, so I

don't doubt he'd kill for Isabella.

I wouldn't have stopped him. I wouldn't have hurt him and anyone who knows me knows

that. I could never harm my child. Elizabeth's blood flows through his veins.

12. You once told Edward that you wouldnÓt let him waste his life away on

Isabella. Did you mean it? Would you prefer Edward had fallen in love

with someone else?

That's an impossible question to answer. At the time I believed my son would've avoided

following in my footsteps had he avoided falling in love with Isabella, but there's just really no

way to be certain. It's senseless to wonder about what ifs. He fell for her, he loves her, and it

is what it is.

13. Would you rather have had Isabella die than for Edward to join the

organization? If the absolute only way to save IsabellaÓs life was to have

Edward initiate, would you have had him do it?

Another impossible question to answer. I would've chosen my sons life over hers, but I was

certain I could've saved Isabella without sacrificing Edward. He believed otherwise and made

his decision, despite what I believed, and there's nothing that can change that fact now. I

wouldn't have ever asked him to initiate, because Isabella was not his responsibility. She was

mine. She was my situation to handle, and I would've done whatever I had to short of

involving him. Of course, though, he couldn't help himself and got involved on his own.

ThatÔs my son for you.

14. Do you regret joining the Mafia?

I don't regret initiating, because at the time it was my only option, but I do regret most of

things I have done for the organization.

15. Did any other form of punishment ever cross your mind for Isabella

(other than death)?

I never intended to punish her in the capacity I did. I spent my life using threats to get my

way, and I knew doing so would be enough to keep Isabella in line. I never intended to be so

cruel and harm her physically. She was only a child, and any harm I did inflict was caused by

my emotions spiraling out of control.

16. Have you told Emmett and Jasper about the reality of their mother's

past? If so, how did they react?

They were shocked and upset, but didn't take it nearly as bad as Edward did. It took some

time for it to sink in, of course, but they accepted that it had been their mother's decision to

spare them the truth when they were younger. I answered their questions about it the best I

could and the more I explained things, the more things seemed to make sense to them.

17. Did you always know that Emmett was the son of one of the Russians?

No, I had no way of knowing. It just wasn't fathomable to me that this random girl who

walked into my wife's job for help would've been violated by one of my worst enemies. I

probably should've known, considering my wife told me countless times that nothing was

purely by coincidence. I had been trained to question things and to be suspicious, but never

once did I see any red flags about the situation. It doesn't really matter though, because

Emmett is my son--mine and Elizabeth's.

18. If you had the chance to change anything from the past, what would it

be?

I would have stopped my wife sooner from digging. I would have told her I suspected what

she was doing. I would've done what I could to fix the situation, so that she didn't feel so

helpless and feel like she had to be so secretive about her mission to save Isabella. I would've

kept her safe, and I wouldn't have turned my back to the signs that she was putting herself in

danger. I would've kept my family protected.

19. Why did you so quickly dismiss Edward's accusation that Alistair was

the man who killed his mother? Was Alistair someone that Edward would

have seen regularly growing up?

I didn't dismiss it; I just had no intention of involving him in the situation. He's never been the

most rational person, you know, and he isn't that great of an actor. I knew he'd have to see

Alistair, considering he initiated, and I didn't want to ignite his suspicions further and have him

give away anything prematurely. But no, he wouldn't have seen Alistair much growing up, if

at all. I knew that, but he didn't.

20. Did you think Edward was making the right choice by walking out on

Isabella?

Absolutely. They needed different things in their lives at the time, and they were things

neither would get with the other. Bella deserved to be on her own, regardless of what she

thought, and Edward needed time to adapt to his life without endangering someone else.

And he would've put her life in danger, that's for certain.

21. At any point, after Elizabeth died, did you ever think that maybe you

should try to have a serious relationship? And after seeing Edward leave

Isabella, knowing how it felt to live without your soul mate, did you ever

consider trying to get him to reconsider his choice?

I never once considered having another serious relationship. I had no desire to. And it was

because I know what it's like to live without my soul mate that I supported his decision to

leave her. In a sense it is because of my choices and the lifestyle I lived that she inevitably lost

her life, and I never wanted my son to have to feel what that's like. He shouldn't have to live

in a world where the person he loved no longer existed because of him. At least separated,

he had hope that she was still out there and had a chance at happiness.

22. How long after Elizabeth died did you start having Ðfuck buddiesÑ? How

did you feel the first time you did it? Did you do anal because Elizabeth

didn't like it?

It wasn't right away, it took me awhile. I was drunk the first time I did it and afterward I was

disgusted with myself. I felt like I'd betrayed my wife. It got easier over time, the feeling fading

for the most part, but every now and then it still felt too intimate and I'd lose my focus and

panic. Which, yes, is why I like anal. It's not as loving, and it was never about love for me. It

was always just a release, a stress reliever. I enjoyed the companionship and the mutual

pleasure without the emotions that go along with it.

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