Gene Wolfe - The death of Dr. Island.pdf

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VERSION 1.0 dtd 032800
GENE WOLFE
The Death
of Doctor Island
"In my picture of the world there is a vast outer realm
and an equally vast inner realm; between these two stands
man, facing now one and now the other . . . ." C. G.
Jung said that, and he might have been describing
Gene Wolfe, who seems frighteningly familiar with
both realms. In this story he will take you by the hand
and lead you from one to the other with such disarm-
ing ease you may never know when the transition oc-
curred. A true Jungian story told in Freudian terms, an
exploration into the inner realm, that is what "The
Death of Doctor Island" is. And if you recognize your
self as a player, or an aspect of one of the players in
that inner realm, don't be surprised. Nothing is accidental.
I have desired to go
Where springs not fail,
To fields where flies no sharp and sided hail And a few lilies blow.
And I have asked to be
Where no storms come,
Where the green swell is in the havens dumb, And out of the swing of the sea.
-Gerard Manley Hopkins
A grain of sand, teetering on the brink of the pit, trembled and fell in; the ant lion at the
bottom angrily flung it out again. For a moment there was quiet. Then the entire pit, and a square
meter of sand around it, shifted drunkenly while two coconut palms bent to watch. The sand rose,
pivoting at one edge, and the scarred head of a boy appeared-a stubble of brown hair threatened to
erase the marks of the sutures; with dilated eyes hypnotically dark he paused, his neck just where
the ant lion's had been; then, as though goaded from below, he vaulted up and onto the beach,
turned, and kicked sand into the dark hatchway from which he had emerged. It slammed shut. The boy
was about fourteen.
For a time he squatted, pushing the sand aside and trying to find the door. A few centimeters
down, his hands met a gritty, solid material which, though neither concrete nor sandstone, shared
the qualities of both sand-filled organic plastic. On it he scraped his fingers raw, but he could
not locate the edges of the hatch.
Then he stood and looked about him, his head moving continually as the heads of certain reptiles
go back and forth, with no pauses at the terminations of the movements. He did this constantly,
ceaselessly always-and for that reason it will not often be described again, just as it will not
be mentioned that he breathed. He did; and as he did, his head, like a rearing snake's, turned
from side to side. The boy was thin, and naked as a frog.
Ahead of him the sand sloped gently down toward sapphire water; there were coconuts on the beach,
and seashells, and a scuttling crab that played with the finger-high edge of each dying wave.
Behind him there were only palms and sand for a long distance, the palms growing ever closer
together as they moved away from the water until the forest of their columniated trunks seemed
architectural; like some palace maze becoming as it progressed more and more draped with creepers
and lianas with green, scarlet, and yellow leaves, the palms interspersed with bamboo and
deciduous trees dotted with flaming orchids until almost at the limit of his sight the whole ended
in a spangled wall whose predominant color was blackgreen.
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The boy walked toward the beach, then down the beach until he stood in knee-deep water as warm as
blood. He dipped his fingers and, tasted it-it was fresh, with no hint of the disinfectants to
which he was accustomed. He waded out again and sat on the sand about five meters up from the high-
water mark, and after ten minutes, during which he heard no sound but the wind and the murmuring
of the surf, he threw back his head and began to scream. His screaming was high-pitched, and each
breath ended in a gibbering, ululant note, after which came the hollow,- iron gasp of the next
indrawn breath. On one occasion he had screamed in this way, without cessation, for fourteen
hours and twenty-two minutes, at the end of which a nursing nun with an exemplary record
stretching back seventeen years had administered an injection without the permission of the
attending physician.
After a time the boy paused-not because he was tired, but in order to listen better. There was,
still, only the sound of the wind in the palm fronds and the murmuring surf, yet he felt that he
had heard a voice. The boy could be quiet as well as noisy, and he was quiet now, his left hand
sifting white sand as clean as salt between its fingers while his right tossed tiny pebbles like
beach-glass beads into the surf.
"Hear me," said the surf. "Hear me. Hear me."
"I hear you," the boy said.
"Good," said the surf, and it faintly echoed itself:
"Good, good, good."
"The boy shrugged.
"What shall I call you?" asked the surf.
"My name is Nicholas Kenneth de Vore." '
"Nick, Nick . . . Nick?"
The boy stood, and turning his back on the sea, walked inland. When he was out of sight of the
water he found a coconut palm growing sloped and angled, leaning and weaving among its companions
like the plume of an ascending jet blown by the wind. After feeling its rough exterior with both
hands, the boy began to climb; he was inexpert and climbed slowly and a little clumsily, but his
body was light and he was strong. In time he reached the top, and disturbed the little brown plush
monkeys there, who fled chattering into other palms, leaving him to nestle alone among the stems
of the fronds and the green coconuts. "I am here also," said a voice from the palm.
"Ah," said the boy, who was watching the tossing, sapphire sky far over his head.
"I will call you Nicholas."
The boy said, "I can see the sea."
"Do you know my name?"
The boy did not reply. Under him the long, long stem of the twisted palm swayed faintly.
"My friends all call me Dr. Island."
"I will not call you that," the boy said.
"You mean that you are not my friend."
A gull screamed.
"But you see, I take you for my friend. You may say that I am not yours, but I say that you are
mine. I like you, Nicholas, and I will treat you as a friend."
"Are you a machine or a person or a committee?" the boy asked.
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"I am all those things and more. I am the spirit of this island, the tutelary genius."
"Bullshit."
"Now that we have met, would you rather I leave you alone?"
Again the boy did not reply.
"You may wish to be alone with your thoughts. I would like to say that we have made much more
progress today than I anticipated. I feel that we will get along together very well."
After fifteen minutes or more, the boy asked, "Where does the light come from?" There was no
answer. The boy waited for a time, then climbed back down the trunk, dropping the last five meters
and rolling as he hit in the soft sand.
He walked to the beach again and stood staring out at the water. Far off he could see it curving
up and up, the distant combers breaking in white .foam until the sea became white-flecked sky. To
his left and his right the beach curved away, bending almost infinitesimally until it disappeared.
He began to walk, then saw, almost at the point where perception was lost, a human figure. He
broke into a run; a moment later, he halted and turned around. Far ahead another walker, almost
invisible, strode the beach; Nicholas ignored him; he ` found a coconut and tried to open it, then
threw it
aside and walked on. From time to time fish jumped, ;.
and occasionally he saw a wheeling sea bird dive. The light grew dimmer. He was aware that he had
not eaten for some time, but he was not in the strict sense hungry-or rather, he enjoyed his
hunger now in the same way that he might, at another time, have gashed his arm to watch himself
bleed. Once he said, "Dr. Island!" loudly as he passed a coconut palm, and then later began to
chant, "Dr. Island, Dr. Island, Dr. Island," as he walked until the words had lost all meaning. He
swam in the sea as he had been taught to swim in the great quartanary treatment tanks on Callisto
to improve his coordination, and spluttered and snorted until he learned to deal with the waves.
When it was so dark he could see only the white sand and the white foam of the breakers, he drank
from the sea and fell asleep, on the beach, the right. side of his taut, ugly face relaxing first,
so that it seemed asleep even while the left eye was open and staring; his head rolling from side
to side; the left corner of his mouth preserving, like a death mask, his characteristic expression
-angry, remote, tinged with that inhuman quality that is found nowhere but in certain human faces.
When he woke it was not yet light, but the night was fading to a gentle gray. Headless, the palms
stood like tall ghosts up and down the beach, their tops lost in fog and the lingering dark. He
was cold. His hands rubbed his sides; he danced on the sand and sprinted down the edge of the
lapping water in an effort to get warm; ahead of him a pinpoint of red light became a fire, and he
slowed.
A man who looked about twenty-five crouched over the fire. Tangled black hair hung aver this man's
shoulders, and he had a sparse beard; otherwise he was as naked as Nicholas himself. His eyes were
dark, and large and empty, like the ends of broken pipes; he poked at his fire, and the smell of
roasting fish came with the smoke. For a time Nicholas stood at a distance, watching.
Saliva ran from a corner of the man's mouth, and he wiped it away with one hand, leaving a smear
of ash on his face. Nicholas edged closer until he stood on the opposite side of the fire. The
fish had been wrapped in broad leaves and mud, and lay in the center of the coals. "I'm Nicholas,"
Nicholas said. "Who are you?" The young man did not look at him, had never looked at him.
"Hey, I'd like a piece of your fish. Not much. All right?"
The young man raised his head, looking not at Nicholas but at some point far beyond him; he
dropped his eyes again. Nicholas smiled. The smile emphasized the disjointed quality of his
expression, his mouth's uneven curve.
"Just a little piece? Is it about done?" Nicholas crouched, imitating the young man, and as though
this were a signal, the young man sprang for him across the fire. Nicholas jumped backward, but
the jump was too late-the young man's body struck his and sent him sprawling on the sand; fingers
clawed for his throat. Screaming, Nicholas rolled free, into the water; the young man splashed
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after him; Nicholas dove.
He swam underwater, his belly almost grazing the r wave-rippled sand until he found deeper water;
then he surfaced, gasping for breath, and saw the young man, who saw him as well. He dove again,
this time surfacing far off, in deep water. Treading water, he could see the fire on the beach,
and the young man when he . returned to it, stamping out of the sea in the early .t light.
Nicholas then swam until he was five hundred meters or more down the beach, then waded in to shore
and began walking back toward the fire.
The young man saw him when he was still some distance off, but he continued to sit, eating pink-
tinted tidbits from his fish, watching Nicholas. "What's the matter?" Nicholas said while he was
still a safe distance away. "Are you mad at me?"
From the forest, birds warned, "Be careful, Nicholas;"
"I won't hurt you," the young man said. He stood up, wiping his oily hands on his chest, and
gestured toward the fish at his feet. "You want some?"
Nicholas nodded, smiling his crippled smile.
"Come then."
Nicholas waited, hoping the young man would move away from the fish, but he did not; neither did
he smile in return.
"Nicholas," the little waves at his feet whispered, "this is Ignacio."
"Listen," Nicholas said, "is it really all right for me to have some?"
Ignacio nodded, unsmiling.
Cautiously Nicholas came forward; as he was bending to pick up the fish, Ignacio's strong hands
took him; he tried to wrench free but was thrown down, Ignacio on top of him. "Please!" he yelled.
"Please!" Tears started into his eyes. He tried to yell again, but he had no breath; the tongue
was being forced, thicker than his wrist, from his throat.
Then Ignacio let go and struck him in the face with his clenched fist. Nicholas had been slapped
and pummeled before, had been beaten, had fought, sometimes savagely, with other boys; but he had
never been struck by a man as men fight. Ignacio hit him again and his lips gushed blood.
He lay a long time on the sand beside the dying fire. Consciousness returned slowly; he blinked,
drifted back into the dark, blinked again. His mouth was full of blood, and when at last he spit
it out onto the sand, it seemed a soft flesh, dark and polymerized in strange shapes; his left
cheek was hugely swollen, and he could scarcely see out of his left eye. After a time he crawled
to the water; a long time after that, he left it and walked shakily back to the ashes of the fire.
Ignacio was gone, and there was nothing left of the fish but bones. "Ignacio is gone," Dr. Island
said with lips of waves. Nicholas sat on the sand, cross-legged.
"You handled him very well." .
"You saw us fight?"
"I saw you; I see everything, Nicholas."
"This is the worst place," Nicholas said; he was talking to his lap.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I've been in bad places before-places where they hit you or squirted big hoses of ice water that
knocked you down. But not where they would let someone else-"
"Another patient?" asked a wheeling gull.
"-do it."
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"You were lucky, Nicholas. Ignacio is homicidal."
"You could have stopped him."
"No, I could not. All this world is my eye, Nicholas, my ear, and my tongue; but I have no hands."
"I thought you did all this."
"Men did all this."
"I mean, I thought you kept it going."
"It keeps itself going, and you-all the people here-direct it."
Nicholas looked at the water. "What makes the waves?"
"The wind and the tide."
"Are we on Earth?"
"Would you feel more comfortable on Earth?"
"I've never been there; I'd like to know."
"I am more like Earth than Earth now is, Nicholas. If you were to take the best of all the best
beaches of Earth, and clear them of all the poisons and all the dirt of the last three centuries,
you would have me."
"But this isn't Earth?"
There was no answer. Nicholas walked around the ashes of the fire until he found Ignacio's
footprints. He was no tracker, but the depressions in the soft beach sand required none; he
followed them, his head swaying from side to side as he walked, like the sensor of a mine
detector.
For several kilometers Ignacio's trail kept to the beach; then, abruptly, the footprints
swerved, wandered among the coconut palms, and at last were lost on the firmer soil inland.
Nicholas lifted his head and shouted, "Ignacio? Ignacio!" After a moment he heard a stick snap,
and the sound of someone pushing aside leafy branches. He waited.
"Mum?"
A girl was coming toward him, stepping out of the thicker growth of the interior. She was
pretty, though too thin, and appeared to be about nineteen; her hair was blond where it had been
most exposed to sunlight, darker elsewhere. "You've scratched yourself," Nicholas said. "You're
bleeding."
"I thought you were my mother," the girl said. She was a head taller than Nicholas. "Been
fighting, haven't you. Have you come to get me?"
Nicholas had been in similar conversations before and normally would have preferred to
ignore the remark, but he was lonely now. He said, "Do you want to go home?"
"Well, I think I should, you know."
"But do you want to?"
"My mum always says if you've got something on the stove you don't want to burn-she's
quite a good cook. She really is. Do you like cabbage with bacon?"
"Have you got anything to eat?"
"Not now. I had a thing a while ago"
"What kind of thing?"
"A bird." The girl made a vague little gesture, not looking at Nicholas. "I'm a memory
that has swallowed a bird."
"Do you want to walk down by the water?" They were moving in the direction of the beach
already.
"I was just going to get a drink. You're a nice tot."
Nicholas did not like being called a "tot." He said, "I set fire to places."
"You won't set fire to this place; it's been nice the last couple of days, but when
everyone is sad, it rains."
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