{0}{72}You've been very... {82}{146}- What did you get?|- Blimey!- {148}{207}Well, I never! {209}{284}Nothing yet. I'm just, you know, deciding. {289}{363}- It's nice to see you.|- It's nice to see you. {387}{496}This present thing is great.|I should've gotten married years ago. {498}{570}- Anybody get the Pygmy?|- The young man thought about it... {614}{634}No!e {636}{700}Just get me an ashtray. {730}{793}Are you free for about a half-hour? {795}{829}Yeah. {831}{909}I'm meeting my brother,|but I can be a bit late. {929}{993}Oh, good. You have|an important decision to make. {995}{1083}- Now, you mustn't laugh.|- OK. Right. {1258}{1329}What do you think? {1371}{1411}Divine.C {1418}{1482}Bit of a meringue?s {1514}{1573}Don't worry. We've only just begun.e {1643}{1703}What do you think? {1728}{1787}- You're kidding.|- But it would be wonderful.h {1789}{1852}Maybe next time.. {1902}{1953}What do you think?. {2047}{2131}- I knew it.|- With a staff, you could look after sheep. {2140}{2177}Don't be rude.i {2202}{2259}It's a bit sexy, this. {2284}{2329}Well...' {2331}{2409}If I were your husband,|I would die of pride.m {2411}{2461}You may be right. It is dangerous. {2463}{2558}There's nothing worse at a wedding|than a priest with an erection. {2690}{2766}It's strange thinking|you'll never sleep with anyone else.h {2768}{2878}- You don't think you'll be unfaithful?|- No. Not once l'm married. {2880}{2965}I told Hamish l'll kill him if he does,|so l'd better stick to that. {2967}{3002}Quite right.a {3004}{3079}Anyway, I reckon l've had my fair run at it. {3095}{3182}What is a fair run these days,|down your way?t {3184}{3246}I don't know.. {3248}{3298}More than one. {3300}{3358}Well, come on. Tell me.w {3393}{3454}I've seen the dress. We have no secrets.p {3563}{3598}Well...p {3617}{3748}The first one - of course,|not easily forgotten - was kinda nice. {3776}{3839}Two... hairy back. {3872}{4014}Three, four, five... Six was|on my birthday in my parents' room. {4022}{4078}- Which birthday?|- 17th. {4080}{4152}- We've only reached 17?|- I grew up in the country. {4154}{4217}Lots of rolling around in haystacks.. {4230}{4305}OK. Seven...t {4307}{4382}Eight, unfortunately, was quite a shock.i {4408}{4501}Nine, against a fence.|Very uncomfortable. Don't try it. {4503}{4528}I won't.b {4536}{4617}10 was gorgeous. Just heaven, just...h {4657}{4733}- He was wonderful.|- I hate him.h {4760}{4834}1 1 , obviously after 10, disappointing. {4836}{4954}1 2 through 17, the university years.|Sensitive, caring, intelligent boys. {4956}{5025}Sexually speaking, a real low patch. {5065}{5122}18 broke my heart.a {5124}{5187}- Years of yearning.|- I'm sorry. {5189}{5265}20... Oh, my God!|I can't believe l've reached 20. {5292}{5360}21 , elephant tongue. {5397}{5487}22 kept falling asleep.|That was my first year in England.e {5499}{5524}I do apologise.u {5526}{5601}- 23 and 24 together. That was something.|- Seriously? {5603}{5672}27... That was a mistake. {5685}{5780}- Suddenly at 27 you make a mistake?|- Yes, he kept screaming. {5782}{5859}Very off-putting.|I nearly gave up on the whole thing. {5861}{5927}But Spencer changed my mind. That's 28. {5929}{6002}- His father, 29.|- With his father? {6012}{6052}30.n {6077}{6127}31 ... Oh, my God. {6147}{6224}32 was lovely. {6259}{6345}And then my fianc�, that's 33. {6373}{6431}Wow!l {6433}{6523}So I came after your fianc�?s {6529}{6589}No, you were 32.t {6635}{6679}So there you go.r {6681}{6772}Less than Madonna,|more than Princess Di - I hope. {6786}{6847}And how about you?|How many have you slept with? {6849}{6924}Christ! Nothing like that many.|I don't know... {6926}{7018}I don't know what the fuck|l've been doing with my time. {7003}{7110}Work, probably. Yeah, work.|I have been working late a lot. {7300}{7370}I wish l'd rung you. {7402}{7462}But then you never rang me.s {7485}{7577}You ruthlessly slept with me twice|and never rang me. {7690}{7737}Bollocks!n {7739}{7794}Help me, please! Please!a {7969}{8064}You're no longer my brother,|you're just some git I once met. {8063}{8099}I'm sorry. {8101}{8171}Carrie, this is David, my brother. {8173}{8233}This is Carrie. {8250}{8284}Hi. {8300}{8358}We were buying her a wedding dress. {8376}{8432}Pathetic excuse. Who's she marrying? {8458}{8505}Some total penis. {8519}{8604}What is it about penises|that they get such great wives? {8627}{8705}I was just telling him|about you marrying Hamish {8707}{8797}and he said it couldn't have happened|to a nicer fellow. {8817}{8880}Didn't you do it with her once? {8882}{8960}- Where are you doing it?|- Scotland.e {8964}{9005}Yes.o {9012}{9064}Beautiful breasts.o {9066}{9139}He says that's a beautiful place. Hilly.' {9164}{9221}You should come to the wedding, too. {9223}{9362}I want lots of friends to make up for|the gruesome stiffs that Hamish knows.k {9370}{9426}Well, you'd better go in. {9436}{9461}Bye.l {9471}{9526}- Bye.|- Bye. {9642}{9690}Come on - we're late. {9773}{9823}Fuck it!a {10127}{10204}Look. Sorry. {10206}{10292}I just... Well...|This is a really stupid question, {10294}{10364}particularly in view|of our shopping excursion, {10366}{10456}but I just wondered if by any chance... {10503}{10582}Obviously not, because|l've only slept with nine people. {10584}{10640}But l... I just wondered... {10642}{10704}I really feel...i {10706}{10830}In short, to recap|in a slightly clearer version, {10815}{10927}in the words of David Cassidy,|while still with the Partridge Family, {10929}{11023}I think I love you. And... {11007}{11128}I just wondered whether|by any chance you wouldn't like to...n {11200}{11274}No. No, of course not. {11310}{11367}I'm an idiot. He's not.s {11369}{11420}Excellent. Fantastic.u {11422}{11503}Lovely to see you.|Sorry to disturb. Better get on. {11513}{11591}- Fuck!|- That was very romantic. {11667}{11788}Well, I thought it over a lot, you know.|I wanted to get it just right. {11809}{11878}Important to have said it, I think. {11880}{11938}Said what, exactly? {11984}{12140}Said, you know, what I just said|about David Cassidy. {12263}{12319}You're lovely.u {12997}{13088}One month laterg {13585}{13684}It was ordained for lifelong faithful|relationships and conjugal love. {13686}{13756}It was ordained|for the welfare of human society,o {13758}{13808}which can be strong and happy {13827}{13885}only when the marriage bond|is held in honour. {13908}{14024}Into this holy estate|these two persons now desire to enter. {14060}{14142}Wherefore, if anyone can show|any just causeb {14124}{14211}why they may not lawfully|be joined together in marriage,s {14213}{14263}Iet him now declare it.o {14367}{14421}Sorry. {14411}{14461}Please rise.e {14544}{14651}Do you, Hamish, take this woman|Caroline to be your wedded wife {14653}{14750}and do you, in the presence of God|and before this congregation,O {14752}{14858}promise and covenant to be to her|a loving and faithful husband {14860}{14930}until God shall separate you by death?a {14932}{14981}I do.i {14988}{15089}Do you, Caroline, take this man Hamish|to be your wedded husband {15091}{15186}and do you, in the presence of God|and before this congregation, {15188}{15276}promise and covenant to be to him|a loving and faithful wife {15278}{15339}until God shall separate you by death?h {15341}{15378}I do.b {15428}{15478}Fuck-a-doodle-doo.t {16083}{16163}- How awfully nice to meet you.|- Nice to meet you. {16224}{16274}Hello.I {16312}{16380}You look beautiful.|Not a meringue in sight.s {16382}{16425}Thanks. {16557}{16607}Blimey!, {16626}{16702}It's Brigadoon! lt's bloody Brigadoon! {16962}{17048}Dear old things, as you know,|l've always been proud {17050}{17132}that there's not a wedding ring|between the lot of us. {17134}{17222}Over the passing of the years,|it's beginning to distress me. {17224}{17321}I'd like to go to the wedding|of someone I really loved for a change. {17323}{17400}Don't blame me.|I've asked practically everyone I know. {17402}{17468}- You haven't asked me.|- Haven't l?t {17470}{17546}Oh, Scarlett... Would you like to? {17548}{17612}No, thank you.|It was very nice of you to ask.o {17614}{17659}Well... Any time.s {17661}{17733}Quite right, Tom, quite right.|That's the spirit. {17735}{17805}Tonight, these are your orders.o {17807}{17907}Go forth and conjugate.|Find husbands and wives. {17918}{17995}Excellent. What do you think, Fifi?|Spot a potential hubby? {17997}{18072}- Bugger off, Tom.|- Quite right.p {18056}{18122}A toast before we go into battle.i {18161}{18203}True love. {18205}{18264}In whatever shape or form it may come.i {18266}{18393}May we all in our dotage be proud to say|'l was adored once, too.' {18421}{18486}- True love.|- True love!y {18685}{18759}Apparently, an enormous|number of people {18761}{18842}actually bump into|their future spouses at weddings,l {18853}{18894}which is interesting.s {18896}{18958}Yes, I met my husband at a wedding. {19167}{19271}Good Lord, I seem to have finished|my drink. If you'll excuse me. {19380}{19446}Hello. My name's Scarlett.l {19448}{19522}Named after Scarlett O'Hara,|but much less trouble. {19524}{19598}- What's your name?|- My name's Rhett. {19600}{19650}No...o {19638}{19694}- Not really?|- No, not really. {19696}{19770}- In fact, it's Chester.|- You kidder! {19801}{19880}I always imagine Americans|are gonna be dull as shit. {19882}{19932}Of course you're not, are you? {19934}{19999}Steve Martin's American, isn't he?r {20017}{20071}Yes, he is.d {20088}{20118}You're lovely.n {20335}{20395}Hello, Charles.c {20397}{20460}Oh, Hen. Hi.u {20462}{20525}Look, I couldn't really bear a scene today.! {20527}{20596}I know we've probably|got tons to talk about... {20598}{20673}Did I behave that atrociously last time? {20685}{20754}Well, you remember|the shower scene in Psycho?n {207...
Cheetor