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Directors’ Briefing

Human resources management

Assertiveness

Greater assertiveness can be the key

to getting the best out of your people

— increased sales, better customer service,

higher productivity and more ideas for

improvement.

• If people feel they are respected, they are

more likely to respect the rights of others.

• Encourage employees to challenge

aggressive or discriminatory behaviour or

harassment calmly and quickly.

• Recognise your employees’ personal

knowledge of your key business contacts.

Customers and suppliers probably chat to

your receptionist every time they call.

It encourages those who are shy or short of

confidence to become more involved and

helps the more extrovert or volatile to fine tune

their dealings with customers, suppliers and

colleagues. An assertive person is a positive,

resourceful presence in your business.

1.2 People have the right to know what is

expected of them in their jobs.

In particular, people can learn to avoid

unproductive behaviour patterns, to focus on

goals, solve problems and feel more at ease

with themselves and their work.

• Give people the equipment, information and

authority they need, plus regular feedback.

1.3 People have a right to be consulted about

decisions that affect them in their work (see

margin note, page 2).

This briefing covers:

• The principles of assertiveness.

• Assertiveness techniques.

• Which parts of your business will benefit

most from assertive people.

• How to encourage assertiveness.

1 Assertiveness at work

Assertiveness training is based on the idea

that individuals have certain rights and certain

responsibilities to themselves and other people.

If people feel their rights are respected, their

confidence, motivation and productivity improve.

1.1 People have the right to feel respected in

the workplace.

A culture of assertiveness is especially

valuable where people work under pressure

or have daily contact with the public.

England

Updated 01/08/07

Directors’ Briefing

• Employees who are involved in making

decisions are more likely to understand why

unpopular decisions have been made.

2 The assertive approach

➨ Firms with

more than 100

employees have

to consult staff on

anything happening

in the business

that might affect

their jobs. This

will also become

law for firms with

between 50 and

99 employees from

April 2008. For

more information

visit

www.cipd.co.uk .

Assertive people have a positive, open style

of communication, neither submissive nor

aggressive. They adopt a meeting-as-equals,

‘win-win’ approach to work relations. The basic

techniques for behaving assertively can be

easily learned and put into practice quickly.

1.4 People have a right to make genuine

mistakes and do not deserve blame and

put-downs.

• Many mistakes occur because people have

not been properly trained or equipped.

• A culture of blame has a negative impact

on morale. People cover their backs

or accuse others, rather than accept

responsibility for their actions.

2.1 State specifically and simply what you feel

and what you want to happen.

• Begin your sentences in the first person.

For example, ‘I feel frustrated when what I

say is ignored in meetings.’

• Make brief, to-the-point statements.

For example, ‘I would like, at least, to be

acknowledged when I offer an idea.’

1.5 People have the responsibility to respect

other people’s rights, irrespective of seniority.

Breaking the patterns

2.2 Speak directly, without hinting, beating

about the bush, flattering, flirting or

manipulating to get what you want.

There are three common types of

counterproductive behaviour pattern that

occur in almost every workplace. All three

can be addressed with basic assertiveness

training.

• Do not speak apologetically, or aggressively.

The opinions and needs you express risk

being ignored if you do.

“ Acting small

A Aggressive behaviour rarely goes

unnoticed, as it tends to be noisy and

calls attention to itself.

2.3 Stand your ground if what you are saying

or doing is valid.

does not do you

or anyone else any

good. For example,

do not apologise

for refusing a

request, unless

you are actually

• Do not let other people’s vehemence or

apparent certainty make you think you

must be wrong.

• People — and whole groups — may be

steamrollered into accepting second-

rate standards or ideas.

sorry. ”

2.4 Stay calm and do not give in to anger.

Taking out your aggression or frustration on

others does you no good and can lead to

careless actions or unsafe working.

B Submissive behaviour does not usually

upset other people.

Lucinda Neall,

Neall Scott

Partnership

training

consultants

• The only individual who suffers directly

is the submissive person, but the entire

business may lose if that person’s

thoughts and ideas go unheard.

• Express your valid feelings and requirements

clearly and in good time, rather than bottling

things up until you explode.

• Allow time to elapse (count to ten) after an

initial angry response, before expressing the

reasons for it to others.

Be prepared to walk away until you feel

calmer and more in control.

• Bear in mind that other people, or their

actions, cannot actually ‘make’ you angry.

If you react with anger, it is because you

choose to surrender control and let yourself

react this way.

• Do not allow your body language to

become aggressive. Avoid pointing at

people, raising your voice, banging the

table or making other aggressive gestures.

C Aggressive/submissive behaviour is a

pattern that can be highly disruptive.

The person may swing between extremes

as his or her moods change, or may have

a fixed pattern. For example, aggressive

towards less senior employees, but

submissive in the company of managers.

improves working

relationships, builds

self-confidence

and control,

and increases

the chances

of everyone

• This behaviour makes it hard to predict

the person’s reactions and can leave

others uncertain about how to act.

winning. ”

Frank Thaxton,

Thames Valley

Partners business

advisers

In a workplace where calmly assertive

behaviour is seen as the norm, people focus

on the job and productivity rises. More people

contribute ideas and input and more become

actively involved in running the business.

2.5 Be prepared to say no or ‘agree to disagree’.

• Everyone at work is entitled to refuse

unreasonable requests (see 5).

“ Assertiveness

Directors’ Briefing

3 Giving feedback

3.5 Offer and accept apologies, ungrudgingly,

if they are appropriate.

For a manager, giving and receiving feedback

are key aspects of assertive behaviour. You

can expect feedback sessions with people

who have had assertiveness training to be

particularly frank and issues-based.

• Poor performance will not improve if there

is ill-will between manager and employee.

Positive expectations on one side and

determination to do better on the other are

needed.

3.1 Discuss poor performance in a

constructive spirit, in private.

3.6 Summarise what has been said and

agreed. Clarify that there are no further

obstacles to good performance.

• When giving feedback, know what positive

outcome you want to achieve.

• Make suggestions about alternatives, but

let the other person identify what action to

take. Avoid telling them what to do.

• Be clear about your motive. If it is simply to

vent your own feelings, do not do it.

4 Receiving feedback

Regardless of the position held in the company,

feedback must be direct and honest to be

productive.

3.2 When discussing a problem, talk about the

facts of the case.

Exchanging feedback can be especially

valuable for senior managers in a business

where assertiveness is established and

welcomed.

• Both parties should avoid personal

comments. Sentences beginning ‘You

are...’ are seldom helpful.

• Your aim should be to correct the fault, not

criticise the person. Be direct and specific

and avoid exaggeration.

Do say ‘There were faults in the accounts

sheets in columns two, three and ten.’ Do

not say ‘The accounts were full of faults.’

• Give credit for the person’s achievements.

4.1 When receiving feedback on poor

performance, separate your natural dislike

of being criticised from the valid points

being made about your behaviour.

4.2 When receiving criticism, do not make

excuses that will not stand up to scrutiny.

3.3 Share your interpretation of the facts.

4.3 If an unfair general accusation is being

levelled at you, ask for specific examples.

The circumstances surrounding poor

performance may have been misunderstood.

4.4 Accept praise and be prepared to learn

from it as well.

“ Assertiveness

• Encourage the employee to respond to

your description of the facts. Make it clear

that you are listening.

• Ask ‘How do you see this?’ or ‘Is that a fair

description?’ to get the employee’s version

of events.

• Keep asking until you get a response. If at

first you get no reaction, be patient.

Do not accept silence as meaning the other

person has nothing to say.

• Respect the other person’s feelings and be

sensitive to the response to your feedback.

5 Requests

training can help

create a workplace

where people

can be honest

with each other,

problems are

handled quickly

and internal politics

do not get in the

way of doing the

5.1 When making a request in the workplace,

be honest about what is involved.

• Do not pretend a two-hour job will take ten

minutes.

• Do not apologise for asking.

5.2 Faced with an unreasonable request from

a customer or colleague, explain why you

cannot comply, and suggest an alternative.

job. ”

3.4 Listen calmly to the other person and show

you understand what is being said.

Liz Trumper,

management

consultant

• The customer is not always right. But

the customer always has the right to an

explanation.

• Employees also deserve explanations. They

need to know why business needs may

override personal feelings and the reasons

behind decisions that affect their work.

• Do not say ‘maybe’, if you mean ‘no’.

• Give the person time to formulate an

answer. Be patient. Do not rush people.

• Help shy people by asking questions they

can answer easily and guide them towards

stating their views.

• If you don’t understand an answer, ask

more questions to clarify. Do not jump to

conclusions or make assumptions.

Directors’ Briefing

6 Handling complaints

• Take time away from the situation to

consider your longer-term response.

Expert

contributors

6.1 Show a customer with a complaint that

you have heard and are making the effort to

understand the point that is being made.

8 A culture of assertiveness

Thanks to Jill Dann

(Consultation Limited,

023 9225 6161);

Margaret Dale

(HR management

consultant, 01484

682710); Frank

Thaxton (Thames

Valley Partners

business advisers,

020 7637 1727).

6.2 Do not be afraid to request clarification

— if necessary, more than once.

Assertive behaviour must be welcomed in

your business, if each person is to operate

assertively.

• Ask ‘Can you put that another way?’ or

‘Have I got this right?’. Follow this with a

summary of what you think was said.

8.1 Provide assertiveness training for sales

people, receptionists and customer service

people first, and other employees later.

6.3 Defuse the situation by acknowledging the

other person’s point of view.

• Include supervisors and managers. They

need to understand the pressures their

teams face and learn to deal with them.

• If the customer is angry, begin your

response with ‘I’m sorry you feel our

product hasn’t met your expectations.’

This wording lets you express sympathy

with his or her disappointment, without

conceding that the product is faulty.

Further help

8.2 Reinforce a win-win culture in the

business.

A workplace where people see all

transactions in terms of winners and losers

reinforces unproductive behaviour patterns.

There are other

Directors’ Briefing

titles that can help

you. These briefings

are referred to in the

text by name, such

as Performance

appraisals.

6.4 Never blame your colleagues, the

customer or your suppliers.

• Train your supervisors and managers to

encourage plain speaking and support

assertive behaviour.

• Do not tolerate bullies in the workplace.

• Assertiveness training for your thrusting

go-getters may be better aimed at learning

how to listen than how to get heard.

6.5 Reconstruct, with the customer’s help, the

steps which led to the complaint. You may

find there is more than one factor behind it.

• For example, a service issue, as well as a

product problem.

This step-by-step ‘diary’ will help you get it

right in future, and most customers respond

well to the professionalism of this approach.

8.3 Provide multiple communication

channels.

• Call regular team and department meetings

and encourage everyone to participate in

the discussions.

• Introduce newsletters, team bulletins and

individual or group contributions to your

intranet, if you have one. Every chance to

express themselves boosts employees’

confidence and sense of worth.

• In your appraisal process, ask questions

that will encourage employees to

express their needs and viewpoints. (See

Performance appraisals).

7 Angry people

Dealing with angry people — customers or

colleagues — is a matter of damage limitation.

Be assertive and actively manage the situation.

7.1 If someone is angry, identify the cause of

the anger and take steps to deal with it.

• For example, with an angry customer, do

not waste time making excuses. Accept the

criticism, apologise and say what you will

do to deal with the complaint.

Solutions Ltd 2007.

ISSN 1369-1996. All

rights reserved. No

part of this publication

may be reproduced or

transmitted without the

written permission of the

publisher. This publication

is for general guidance

only. The publisher, expert

contributors and distributor

disclaim all liability for

any errors or omissions.

Consult your local business

support organisation or your

professional adviser for help

and advice.

Take some immediate action, and be seen

to be doing so, even if it is only noting the

customer’s name and address.

7.2 If people are clearly out of control, do not

attempt to deal with them. Let them know

that communication must wait until later.

7.3 If someone is being personally offensive,

end the conversation quickly and firmly.

Published by BHP Information Solutions Ltd, Althorp House, 4-6 Althorp Road, London SW17 7ED

Tel: 020 8672 6844, www.bhpinfosolutions.co.uk

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