William Tenn - The Liberation of Earth.pdf - William Tenn - margozap

The Liberation of Earth

William Tenn

This, then, is the story of our liberation. Suck air and grab clusters. Heigh-ho, here is the tale.

August was the month, a Tuesday in August. These words are meaningless now, so far have we

progressed; but many things known and discussed by our primitive an-cestors, our unliberated,

unreconstructed forefathers, are devoid of sense to our free minds. Still the tale must be told, with all of

its incredible place-names and vanished points of reference.

Why must it be told? Have any of you a better thing to do? We have had water and weeds and lie

in a valley of gusts, So rest, relax and listen. And suck air, suck air.

On a Tuesday in August, the ship appeared in the sky over France in a part of the world then known

as Europe. Five miles long the ship was, and word has come down to us that it looked like an enormous

silver cigar.

The tale goes on to tell of the panic and consternation among our forefathers when the ship abruptly

materialized in the summer-blue sky. How they ran, how they shouted, how they pointed!

How they excitedly notified the United Nations, one of their chiefest institutions, that a strange metal

craft of incredible size had materialized over their land. How they sent an order here to cause military

aircraft to surround it with loaded weapons, gave instructions there for hastily grouped scientists, with

signaling apparatus, to approach it with friendly gestures. How, under the great ship, men with cameras

took pictures of it; men with typewriters wrote stories about it; and men with concessions sold models of

it.

All these things did our ancestors, enslaved and unknowing, do.

Then a tremendous slab snapped up in the middle of the ship, and the first of the aliens stepped out

in the complex tripodal gait that all humans were shortly to know and love so well. He wore a metallic

garment to protect him from the effects of our atmospheric peculiarities, a garment of the opaque, loosely

folded type that these, the first of our liberators, wore throughout their stay on Earth.

Speaking in a language none could understand, but booming deafeningly through a huge mouth about

halfway up his twenty-five feet of height, the alien discoursed for exactly one hour, waited politely for a

response when he had finished, and, receiving none, retired into the ship.

That night, the first of our liberation! Or the first of our first liberation, should I say? That night,

anyhow! Visualize our ancestors scurrying about their primitive intricacies: playing ice-hockey, televising,

smashing atoms, red-baiting, conducting giveaway shows, and signing affidavits—all the incredible

minutiae that made the olden times such a frightful mass of cumulative detail in which to live—as

com-pared with the breathless and majestic simplicity of the present.

The big question, of course, was—what had the alien said? Had he called on the hu-man race to

surrender? Had he announced that he was on a mission of peaceful trade and, having made what he

considered a reasonable offer—for, let us say, the north polar icecap—politely withdrawn so that we

could discuss his terms among ourselves in relative privacy? Or, possibly, had he merely announced that

he was the newly appointed ambassador to Earth from a friendly and intelligent race—and would we

please direct him to the proper authority so that he might submit his credentials?

Not to know was quite maddening.

Since decision rested with the diplomats, it was the last possibility which was held, very late that

night, to be most likely; and early the next morning, accordingly, a delegation from the United Nations

waited under the belly of the motionless starship. The delegation had been instructed to welcome the

aliens to the outermost limits of its collective linguistic ability. As an additional earnest of mankind's

friendly inten-tions, all military craft patrolling the air about the great ship were ordered to carry no more

than one atom bomb in their racks, and to fly a small white flag—along with the U.N. banner and their

own national emblem. Thus did our ancestors face this, the ultimate challenge of history.

When the alien came forth a few hours later, the delegation stepped up to him, bowed, and, in the

three official languages of the United Nations—English, French and Russian—asked him to consider this

planet his home. He listened to them gravely, and then launched into his talk of the day before—which

was evidently as highly charged with emotion and significance to him as it was completely

incomprehen-sible to the representatives of world government.

Fortunately, a cultivated young Indian member of the secretariat detected a sus-picious similarity

between the speech of the alien and an obscure Bengali dialect whose anomalies he had once puzzled

over. The reason, as we all know now, was that the last time Earth had been visited by aliens of this

particular type, humanity's most advanced civilization lay in a moist valley in Bengal; extensive dictionaries

of that language had been written, so that speech with the natives of Earth would present no problem to

any subsequent exploring party.

However, I move ahead of my tale, as one who would munch on the succulent roots before the

dryer stem. Let me rest and suck air for a moment. Heigh-ho, truly those were tremendous experiences

for our kind.

You, sir, now you sit back and listen. You are not yet of an age to Tell the Tale. I remember, well

enough do I remember, how my father told it, and his father before him. You will wait your turn as I did;

you will listen until too much high land be-tween water holes blocks me off from life.

Then you may take your place in the juiciest weed patch and, reclining gracefully between sprints,

recite the great epic of our liberation to the carelessly exercising young.

Pursuant to the young Hindu's suggestions, the one professor of comparative lin-guistics in the world

capable of understanding and conversing in this peculiar ver-sion of the dead dialect was summoned from

an academic convention in New York, where he was reading a paper he had been working on for

eighteen years: An Initial Study of Apparent Relationships Between Several Past Participles in

Ancient Sanskrit and an Equal Number of Noun Substantives in Modern Szechuanese.

Yea, verily, all these things—and more, many more—did our ancestors in their besotted ignorance

contrive to do. May we not count our freedoms indeed?

The disgruntled scholar, minus—as he kept insisting bitterly—some of his most essential word lists,

was flown by fastest jet to the area south of Nancy which, in those long-ago days, lay in the enormous

black shadow of the alien spaceship.

Here he was acquainted with his task by the United Nations delegation, whose nervousness had not

been allayed by a new and disconcerting development. Several more aliens had emerged from the ship

carrying great quantities of immense, shim-mering metal which they proceeded to assemble into

something that was obviously a machine—though it was taller than any skyscraper man had ever built,

and seemed to make noises to itself like a talkative and sentient creature. The first alien still stood

courteously in the neighborhood of the profusely perspiring diplomats; ever and anon he would go

through his little speech again, in a language that had been almost for-gotten when the cornerstone of the

library of Alexandria was laid. The men from the U.N. would reply, each one hoping desperately to

make up for the alien's lack of fa-miliarity with his own tongue by such devices as hand gestures and

facial expres-sions. Much later, a commission of anthropologists and psychologists brilliantly pointed out

the difficulties in such physical, gestural communication with creatures possessing—as these aliens

did—five manual appendages and a single, unwinking compound eye of the type the insects rejoice in.

The problems and agonies of the professor as he was trundled about the world in the wake of the

aliens, trying to amass a usable vocabulary in a language whose pecu-liarities he could only extrapolate

from the limited samples supplied him by one who must inevitably speak it with the most outlandish of

foreign accents—these vexations were minor indeed compared to the disquiet felt by the representatives

of world government. They beheld the extraterrestrial visitors move every day to a new site on their

planet and proceed to assemble there a titanic structure of flickering metal which muttered nostalgically to

itself, as if to keep alive the memory of those faraway factories which had given it birth.

True, there was always the alien who would pause in his evidently supervisory la-bors to release the

set little speech; but not even the excellent manners he displayed, in listening to upward of fifty-six replies

in as many languages, helped dispel the panic caused whenever a human scientist, investigating the

shimmering machines, touched a projecting edge and promptly shrank into a disappearing pinpoint. This,

while not a frequent occurrence, happened often enough to cause chronic indiges-tion and insomnia

among human administrators.

Finally, having used up most of his nervous system as fuel, the professor collated enough of the

language to make conversation possible. He—and, through him, the world—was thereupon told the

following:

The aliens were members of a highly advanced civilization which had spread its culture throughout

the entire galaxy. Cognizant of the limitations of the as-yet-un-derdeveloped animals who had latterly

become dominant upon Earth, they had placed us in a sort of benevolent ostracism. Until either we or our

institutions had evolved to a level permitting, say, at least associate membership in the galactic federation

(under the sponsoring tutelage, for the first few millennia, of one of the older, more wide-spread and

important species in that federation)—until that time, all invasions of our privacy and ignorance—except

for a few scientific expeditions conducted un-der conditions of great secrecy—had been strictly

forbidden by universal agreement.

Several individuals who had violated this ruling—at great cost to our racial sanity, and enormous

profit to our reigning religions—had been so promptly and severely punished that no known infringements

had occurred for some time. Our recent growth-curve had been satisfactory enough to cause hopes that

a bare thirty or forty centuries more would suffice to place us on applicant status with the federation.

Unfortunately, the peoples of this stellar community were many, and varied as greatly in their ethical

outlook as in their biological composition. Quite a few spe-cies lagged a considerable social distance

behind the Dendi, as our visitors called themselves. One of these, a race of horrible, worm-like organisms

known as the Troxxt—almost as advanced technologically as they were retarded in moral

devel-opment—had suddenly volunteered for the position of sole and absolute ruler of the galaxy. They

had seized control of several key suns, with their attendant planetary systems, and, after a calculated

decimation of the races thus captured, had announced their intention of punishing with a merciless

extinction all species unable to appre-ciate from these object-lessons the value of unconditional

surrender.

In despair, the galactic federation had turned to the Dendi, one of the oldest, most selfless, and yet

most powerful of races in civilized space, and commissioned them—as the military arm of the

federation—to hunt down the Troxxt, defeat them wher-ever they had gained illegal suzerainty, and

destroy forever their power to wage war.

This order had come almost too late. Everywhere the Troxxt had gained so much the advantage of

attack that the Dendi were able to contain them only by enormous sacrifice. For centuries now, the

conflict had careened across our vast island uni-verse. In the course of it, densely populated planets had

been disintegrated; suns had been blasted into novae; and whole groups of stars ground into swirling

cosmic dust.

A temporary stalemate had been reached a short while ago, and—reeling and breathless—both

sides were using the lull to strengthen weak spots in their perimeter.

Thus, the Troxxt had finally moved into the till-then peaceful section of space that contained our

solar system—among others. They were thoroughly uninterested in our tiny planet with its meager

resources, nor did they care much for such celestial neighbors as Mars or Jupiter. They established their

headquarters on a planet of Proxima Centauri—the star nearest our own sun—and proceeded to

consolidate their offensive-defensive network between Rigel and Aldebaran. At this point in their

explanation, the Dendi pointed out, the exigencies of interstellar strategy tended to become too

complicated for anything but three-dimensional maps; let us here ac-cept the simple statement, they

suggested, that it became immediately vital for them to strike rapidly, and make the Troxxt position on

Proxima Centauri untenable—to establish a base inside their lines of communication. The most likely spot

for a such a base was Earth.

The Dendi apologized profusely for intruding on our development, an intrusion which might cost us

dear in our delicate developmental state. But, as they explained—in impeccable pre-Bengali—before

their arrival we had, in effect, become (all un-knowingly) a satrapy of the awful Troxxt. We could now

consider ourselves liberated.

We thanked them much for that.

Besides, their leader pointed out proudly, the Dendi were engaged in a war for the sake of

civilization itself, against an enemy so horrible, so obscene in its nature, and so utterly filthy in its

practices, that it was unworthy of the label of intelligent life. They were fighting, not only for themselves,

but for every loyal member of the galac-tic federation; for every small and helpless species; for every

obscure race too weak to defend itself against a ravaging conqueror. Would humanity stand aloof from

such a conflict?

There was just a slight bit of hesitation as the information was digested. Then— "No!" humanity

roared back through such mass-communication media as televi-sion, newspapers, reverberating jungle

drums, and mule-mounted backwoods mes-senger. "We will not stand aloof. We will help you

destroy this menace to the very fabric of civilization! Just tell us what you want us to do!"

Well, nothing in particular, the aliens replied with some embarrassment. Possibly in a little while there

might be something— several little things, in fact—which could be quite useful; but, for the moment, if we

would concentrate on not getting in their way when they serviced their gun-mounts, they would be very

grateful, really...

This reply tended to create a large amount of uncertainty among the two billion of Earth's human

population. For several days afterward, there was a planet-wide ten-dency—the legend has come down

to us—of people failing to meet each other's eyes.

But then Man rallied from this substantial blow to his pride. He would be useful, be it ever so

humbly, to the race which had liberated him from potential subjugation by the ineffably ugly Troxxt. For

this, let us remember well our ancestors! Let us hymn their sincere efforts amid their ignorance!

All standing armies, all air and sea fleets, were reorganized into guard-patrols around the Dendi

weapons; no human might approach within two miles of the murmuring machinery without a pass

countersigned by the Dendi. Since they were never known to sign such a pass during the entire period of

their stay on this planet, however, this loophole-provision was never exercised as far as is known; and

the immediate neighborhood of the extraterrestrial weapons became and remained henceforth

wholesomely free of two-legged creatures.

Cooperation with our liberators took precedence over all other human activities. The order of the day

was a slogan first given voice by a Harvard professor of government in a querulous radio round table on

"Man's Place in a Somewhat Overcivilized Universe."

"Let us forget our individual egos and collective conceits," the professor cried at one point. "Let us

subordinate everything—to the end that the freedom of the solar system in general, and Earth in

particular, must and shall be preserved!"

Despite its mouth-filling qualities, this slogan was repeated everywhere. Still, it was difficult

sometimes to know exactly what the Dendi wanted—partly because of the limited number of interpreters

available to the heads of the various sovereign states, and partly because of their leader's tendency to

vanish into his ship after ambiguous and equivocal statements—such as the curt admonition to "Evacuate

Washington!"

On that occasion, both the Secretary of State and the American President perspired fearfully

through five hours of a July day in all the silk-hatted, stiff-collared, dark-suited diplomatic regalia that the

barbaric past demanded of political leaders who would deal with the representatives of another people.

They waited and wilted be-neath the enormous ship—which no human had ever been invited to enter,

despite the wistful hints constantly thrown out by university professors and aeronautical designers—they

waited patiently and wetly for the Dendi leader to emerge and let them know whether he had meant the

State of Washington or Washington, D.C.

The tale comes down to us at this point as a tale of glory. The capitol building taken apart in a few

days and set up almost intact in the foothills of the Rocky Moun-tains; the missing Archives that were

later to turn up in the Children's Room of a Public Library in Duluth, Iowa; the bottles of Potomac River

water carefully borne westward and ceremoniously poured into the circular concrete ditch built around

the President's mansion (from which, unfortunately, it was to evaporate within a week because of the

relatively low humidity of the region)—all these are proud moments in the galactic history of our species,

from which not even the later knowledge that the Dendi wished to build no gun site on the spot, nor even

an ammunition dump, but merely a recreation hall for their troops, could remove any of the grandeur of

our determined cooperation and most willing sacrifice.

There is no denying, however, that the ego of our race was greatly damaged by the discovery, in the

course of a routine journalistic interview, that the aliens totaled no more powerful a group than a squad;

and that their leader, instead of the great scien-tist and key military strategist that we might justifiably have

expected the Galactic Federation to furnish for the protection of Terra, ranked as the interstellar

equiva-lent of a buck sergeant.

That the President of the United States, the Commander-in-Chief of the Army and the Navy, had

waited in such obeisant fashion upon a mere noncommissioned officer was hard for us to swallow, but

that the impending Battle of Earth was to have a historical dignity only slightly higher than that of a patrol

action was impossibly humiliating.

And then there was the matter of "lendi."

The aliens, while installing or servicing their planetwide weapon system, would occasionally fling

aside an evidently unusable fragment of the talking metal. Sepa-rate from the machine of which it had

been a component, the substance seemed to lose all those qualities which were deleterious to mankind

and retain several which were quite useful indeed. For example, if a portion of the strange material was

at-tached to any terrestrial metal—and insulated carefully from contact with other substances—it would,

in a few hours, itself become exactly the metal that it touched, whether that happened to be zinc, gold, or

pure uranium.

This stuff—"lendi," men have heard the aliens call it—was shortly in frantic de-mand in an economy

ruptured by constant and unexpected emptyings of its most important industrial centers.

Everywhere the aliens went, to and from their weapon sites, hordes of ragged hu-mans stood

chanting—well outside the two-mile limit—"Any lendi, Dendi?" All attempts by law-enforcement

agencies of the planet to put a stop to this shameless, wholesale begging were useless—especially since

the Dendi themselves seemed to get some unexplainable pleasure out of scattering tiny pieces of lendi to

the scrab-bling multitude. When policemen and soldiery began to join the trampling, mur-derous dash to

William Tenn - The Liberation of Earth.pdf

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